Ye ken yur a Scot if

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starone | 16:27 Thu 23rd Feb 2012 | Jokes
42 Answers
Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
Ye measure distance in meenits.
Ye kin unnerstaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain faimly.
Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.
Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
Ye actually unnerstaun this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

wee beasties
away an bile yer heid
humphey backit
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, 'Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?' 'Naw,' replies the butcher. 'It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'

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Set phasers tae malkie!
23:54 Thu 23rd Feb 2012
Question Author
Sorry - I mucked this one up - pressed submit too quickly.
I understood it all except dubble nugget
Ayrshire bacon. lol
The hangover cure is Irn Bru, a mars bar and a good sh!t :D

Still loved it tho Star.
Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

Yes, I know someone like that.
Question Author
Don't ask me howard but it sounds funny. Perhaps sandy will tell us.
A single nugget is a slice of ice cream between 2 wafers, a double nugget is twice the pleasure :)
I dinne kin Starbuckone. Am no Scottish
I'm a little worried by that dictionary at


A penis as in "Sook mah dokey"

Where goes this leave people who say "Okey Dokey"??
Question Author
Thanks boxtops. Everyone, especially howard, it's a two pound coin. Logical, really, isn't it.
I vividly remember being asked "furry boots yae fae?" when I started working.

"Where about do you currently reside?"

I was totally confused by it - and I am Scottish ;-)
I'd say at least 50% of those words and phrases are made up, and some are taken straight from Gaelic. Which Scot, unless speaking Gaelic, ever used "scrieve" to mean "write"?
Clarty i think is meant to be clatty!

I use all of those words! Not so much cludgie... A dubble nuggit or double nougat is what you get off the ice cream van x
Oh sorry alba you explained! Hahaha double one is the chocolatey bit of nougat! The parentals love them..and an oyster x
My mum used clarty to mean filthy.
Clarty = dirty, muddy.
Hi Tinks. Clarty and clatty mean the same thiing tho don't they?! (Ugh)

We haven't had an ice cream van round here for over a year now :(
Mr Alba liked his single nugget. The occasional double when we were flush x
Furry boot is Doric, which is not really Scots.
They talk funny on the East Coast :D

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