10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

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marval | 22:43 Wed 22nd Feb 2012 | Jokes
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1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a cinema.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'other' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.


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I have done that phone thing.

The phone rang for so long that when it was answered I had to ask who they were, as I had forgotten who I rang.
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No Kitkus??
Or "Fartelation", the joy of being under the bed covers, in a vehicle, or any enclosed or confined space and enjoying one's own anal emissions.
I love all these words! Have you just made them up? Can you write to the Oxford English Dictionary and ask to have them all added? You have got to start somewhere.
Just made my solitary one up, Jonny. Had thought about this concept of new words for a Sunday evening competition........
An extension of No 10 is hubtelecrastination, why does he leave me to always answer the phone, evenwhen he's standing next to it, It'll be for you!
Number 3 - and keeping in mind the 3 second rule (it's safe to pick up and blow on if it's only been on the floor for 3 seconds - way longer than a toddler needs to know that they have dropped a sweet).
I can empathise with all of these.
Toastelation; the phenomenon of a piece of toast falling on the buttered side down.
No 2 is my fave!
Wildwood, that's because you've buttered the wrong side of the toast.

These are brilliant!!
No 1. You're AQUADEXTROUS if you have AQUAGILITY. Obvious!
Aquaqueasiness - feeling sick in a diving suit under water.

Aquatic - fleas inside the diving suit

Telesmear, the streak across the tv set that refuses to wipe off.
Very good. More please!
lol, i like that, might nick it :-)
Sexafrigid - most women on a Wednesday night.

Cerealaplaque - the cornflake that gets stuck in between teeth

Runnerbogie - long nose extractions

NoMLove - An English expression for "L'amour de la bouteille" or "love of the bottle" i.e the bottom of the bottle that carries the last slurps and the residue.
I like doing real words ...............

Succulent ................. the contents of a Hoover bag

Ambivalence ..... an emergency vehicle that drives on both sides of the road
I love no. 10 that is so me today :-)
Holiday - a day when the office team is particularly tetchy and on edge.

Indulgence - ten men in grey suits hanging them out in a public toilet

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10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

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