"Thankyou for Shopping at Tesco.

Jemisa | 13:38 Sat 12th Nov 2011 | Jokes

7 Answers

One day, in the queue at the company cafe Joe says to Mike behind him,'My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'
'Listen, you don't have to bother with doctors 'Mike replies. 'There's a
diagnostic computer down at Tesco's . Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.?
It takes ten seconds and costs five quid. . . .
.'
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco's.
He deposits five pound coins and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the compartment and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Tesco.
.'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his
wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Tesco, eager to check the results.
He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a solicitor.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Tesco.