Your duck is dead...........

Avatar Image
HarryFindlay | 21:03 Wed 15th Jun 2011 | Jokes
20 Answers
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."


1 to 20 of 20rss feed

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by HarryFindlay. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
I laughed my head off when I read this first time round... not many people appreciate crap jokes :p
lol...that is funny!
lol @ Lore :-)

joke made me chuckle as well....
Its not a bad joke Harry, but it has been done to death on here mate.
I've never heard/read it before....
Toff, stop being so nice :p

Ummmm, I don't mind admitting - to you anyway. I liked it so much, I sent it via text to my mum - she doesn't do email! ELEVEN bloody pages long. ( thank you, o copy & paste function)
Question Author
Ok here`s a quick one..
I just went on to my neighbours allotment.
I asked, "Hi Bill do you mind if I take a few vegetables home for my dinner?"
He said, "Sure, you can take a leek if you like."
I said, "Cheers." and p!ssed all over his runner beans.
That's it, I'm off! :o/
Not too keen on that one....
Question Author
Ok another quick one

Feck Off then!!!!!!!!! ;o)
Make me! :p
Question Author
Ok a cryptic one..E is D. L L H ;o)
That's easy! ;)
Question Author
Is it?
MysterE is Defunct, A long and prosperous life to H(imself)
Question Author
yeh, or msn lol
so true.....I know this vet - lol
Lool "Lab Report and the Cat Scan"?Good one.Gets me laughing every time.

1 to 20 of 20rss feed

Do you know the answer?

Your duck is dead...........

Answer Question >>