Either Half - Sat 20 April 2024
Football1 min ago
A man got drunk and came home very late. He sat on the door step for thirty (30) minutes trying to figure out what to tell his harsh and super strict wife the reason for his lateness. He gained... ...
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on... ...
I wonder if the spammer destinycgh (now quite rightly banned) was aware of the des-tiny-cgh interpretation for his recent advert for male enhancement. Or maybe 'twas an AI bot!!!! [I'll see myself... ...
Unwoke, hilarious, & I nearly fell off my chair laughing; https:/
Car Dealer: "This car had just one careful owner."
Buyer: "But look at it, it's a wreck!"
Car dealer: "Well yes, you see, the other seven owners weren't quite as careful." ___ Kathy goes to her local... ...
Buyer: "But look at it, it's a wreck!"
Car dealer: "Well yes, you see, the other seven owners weren't quite as careful." ___ Kathy goes to her local... ...
A pantomime horse walks into a bar. The barman says ‘Fancy a pint?’ The horse says ‘No, two halves, thanks.’
...beer and making love in a canoe have in common? They're both 'king close to water😁
Please be very careful on the roads over the Christmas period!
A lot of men will be drinking and allowing their wives to drive .
___
If the world's population where to hold hands along the equator a... ...
A lot of men will be drinking and allowing their wives to drive .
___
If the world's population where to hold hands along the equator a... ...
I collect a lot things related to antique implements of torture and execution, so when a French guillotine basket turned up for auction, naturally I was interested.
However, when it came to the... ...
However, when it came to the... ...
Murphy drops a slice of buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast... ...
Lance isn't a common name these days.
But in medieval times, people were named
Lance a lot.
__
Job advertisement: burrowing rodent required.
Should I gopher it?
___
Quibbled over the price of Ulysses... ...
But in medieval times, people were named
Lance a lot.
__
Job advertisement: burrowing rodent required.
Should I gopher it?
___
Quibbled over the price of Ulysses... ...
A not-so-bright girl is flying in a plane when her pilot keels over. She calls out: "Mayday! Mayday! My pilot is dead!"
Air traffic control responds, "Don't worry, I'll talk you through this.... ...
Air traffic control responds, "Don't worry, I'll talk you through this.... ...
Teacher: I set the class an essay to write about 'My Dog'.
Johnny: Yes sir!
Teacher: Well I think you cheated!
Johnny: No Sir!
Teacher: Then how come your story is word for word the same as your... ...
Johnny: Yes sir!
Teacher: Well I think you cheated!
Johnny: No Sir!
Teacher: Then how come your story is word for word the same as your... ...
Courtesy Instagram https:/
Finished work late the other night, so I popped into a pub on the way home.
I asked someone where I could get a drink and they pointed upstairs.
I got up there and I asked why I had to climb stairs... ...
I asked someone where I could get a drink and they pointed upstairs.
I got up there and I asked why I had to climb stairs... ...
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have... ...
I just opened an express clothing alteration company. It's called Tailor Swift. ___ A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.... ...
My Chinese friend says he has opened a crows shop.
I said, "Don't you mean clothes shop?"
He said, "No, come and take a rook!"
___
I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.
She's going... ...
I said, "Don't you mean clothes shop?"
He said, "No, come and take a rook!"
___
I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.
She's going... ...
https:/
A lady asked me if I would paint her in the nude. I said “ If you don’t mind I will keep my socks on otherwise I will have nowhere to keep my brushes!”
___ So the other day I threw a ball for my... ...
___ So the other day I threw a ball for my... ...
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