News0 min ago
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of a library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many... ...
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many... ...
An elderly couple entered a McDonald’s store and sat next to a table where some young people were having dinner. The old man walked over to the box and made the order for him. He unwrapped the... ...
Just saw this bloke going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet. I thought "he's pushing his luck."
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was
taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a
bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room... ...
taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a
bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room... ...
This guy was staggering along the road, much the worse for the drink, throwing empty beer cans into the street and falling into peoples gardens. His singing gained the attention of a passing... ...
I was in a Café happily dipping my biscuits in other people's tea and they called the police...
Said I was Dunkin' disorderly. ___ I stayed at a hotel yesterday and couldn't help noticing that some... ...
Said I was Dunkin' disorderly. ___ I stayed at a hotel yesterday and couldn't help noticing that some... ...
Wife: Can I cut my hair and make it short? Husband: Cut it. W: I took lot of efforts to grow it long.. H: Then don't cut it W: They say short hair is the fashion these days.. H: Then cut it W: What if... ...
Karl Marx's sister was called Onya?
My mate lost a toe and they replaced it with a rubber one.
His name is Roberto! ___ England has won the World Hairbrushing Championships!
It’s combing home, It’s combing home… ___ It's proving very... ...
His name is Roberto! ___ England has won the World Hairbrushing Championships!
It’s combing home, It’s combing home… ___ It's proving very... ...
Should be put behind bars!
An ice-cream van has crashed on the M56 - police have put cones out! ___ Was queuing up for tickets to a ska group gig and someone pushed in.
Bad Manners. ___
Bad Manners. ___
Beware of an online survey reputedly from the Magic Circle.
They’re all trick questions! ___ Just had to tell my kids we can’t afford to take them to Disneyland, but I did promise to take lots of... ...
They’re all trick questions! ___ Just had to tell my kids we can’t afford to take them to Disneyland, but I did promise to take lots of... ...
A police officer rings into his station: "I'm at this house sergeant, the one where a woman has shot her husband for walking on the floor that she'd just mopped."
"Ok, constable, have you arrested... ...
"Ok, constable, have you arrested... ...
https:/
Does Kerry Katona have a cat?
ADULT A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOUR A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS The only... ...
That storm Isha is so violent. I phoned the landlord this morning.
I said "It's about our roof."
He said "What about it?"
"We'd like it back!!" ___ I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over... ...
I said "It's about our roof."
He said "What about it?"
"We'd like it back!!" ___ I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over... ...
A waiter places a warm cup in front of the gentleman. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.
He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”
The waiter, looking... ...
He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”
The waiter, looking... ...
Well, it made me laugh https:/
A Yorkshireman's beloved wife passed away. He went to a stonemason to sort out a headstone for her grave. Being a devout man, he decided the inscription should read, 'She was thine'. The... ...
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