Connections 314 - Sat 20 April
Quizzes & Puzzles10 mins ago
Bad / Inadequate parenting?
The news is full of reports of children who are "going off the rails" in some way or other.
(See "10-year-old Terror" below)
How would you approach the problem of the cycle of inadequate parenting that seems to be over-running the country?
(See "10-year-old Terror" below)
How would you approach the problem of the cycle of inadequate parenting that seems to be over-running the country?
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Gromit, no I don't think it's something new - there have always been bad parents - but they were few and far between. Now they're not - they're everywhere. You don't need to hang around the streets late at night to see the results of their skills (or lack of them) - you only have to walk around a supermarket during the day to see examples of bad parenting. It's very difficult for parents who do try to instill a sense of right and wrong, and a little discipline, into their children, when they are continually exposed to the negative influences of other people's standards - or lack of them. People are becoming increasingly disrespectful, increasingly uncaring, increasingly violent - and for anyone who wants to live in a decent society, that can't be good.
I'm pleased that at least you admit it is a problem. Do you have children?
I'm pleased that at least you admit it is a problem. Do you have children?
I'm with Gromit to an extent. Bad parenting has always been around, but i do feel that it is slightly more prevalent now than it used to be. And no, it isn't over running the country.
The problem is that there really aren't any direct measures that you can bring in to resolve this. It relies on a fundemental attitude change amongst a generation of people. You can introduce as many punishments and ASBO's as you like, but is it a solution? No.
The problem is that there really aren't any direct measures that you can bring in to resolve this. It relies on a fundemental attitude change amongst a generation of people. You can introduce as many punishments and ASBO's as you like, but is it a solution? No.
naomi24
I live in an inner city suburb of Manchester. Glad I don't live where you do, it sounds horrible.
As the question say, it is a cycle. Bad parents breed future bad parents. Short of mass taking a whole generation of newborn babies and putting them into state nurseries. there isn't a great deal that can be done. That is why I advocate not wasting the time and money on an unsolvable problem.
I live in an inner city suburb of Manchester. Glad I don't live where you do, it sounds horrible.
As the question say, it is a cycle. Bad parents breed future bad parents. Short of mass taking a whole generation of newborn babies and putting them into state nurseries. there isn't a great deal that can be done. That is why I advocate not wasting the time and money on an unsolvable problem.
naomi24
I'm a little confused. I asked about the over-running the country bit and you replied, "they're everywhere". Now we learn that you live in a very nice place, in a village in the country. Er, so they're everywhere, over-running the country except where you live.
You also wrote "...I fear the problem is now too deeply ingrained." which sounds suspiciously close to my defeatist statement "... I advocate not wasting the time and money on an unsolvable problem." Probably the only difference in those two statements is that you would spend a whole load of money getting nowhere.
You should try the Beano, its not nearly as alarmist as that Daily Mail comic.
I'm a little confused. I asked about the over-running the country bit and you replied, "they're everywhere". Now we learn that you live in a very nice place, in a village in the country. Er, so they're everywhere, over-running the country except where you live.
You also wrote "...I fear the problem is now too deeply ingrained." which sounds suspiciously close to my defeatist statement "... I advocate not wasting the time and money on an unsolvable problem." Probably the only difference in those two statements is that you would spend a whole load of money getting nowhere.
You should try the Beano, its not nearly as alarmist as that Daily Mail comic.
Compulsory Parenting Classes, about 4 months long, for all expectant parents (mum And dad), in which they Must pass the test, or else they simply retake it again and again ... until they pass. The certificate they receive at the end of the course certifies them of having a sound understanding of parenting and they may then go ahead and make preparations for the baby.
People where I live are always complaining about the younglings. A few weeks ago my 16 year old sister was reported by a member of the public for the unforgivable sin of spending her lunch break playing cards in a leisure centre next to her school. Bring back the cane, eh?
Most of the children around here are just normal kids. OK they might stand around in groups on street corners, but a) so do the old folk b) there isn't much else for them to do.
A local group of lads have been doing loads of work raising money to get a skatepark built. There should be reports about kids like these to even out all of the negative press.
I say give the kids a break.
Most of the children around here are just normal kids. OK they might stand around in groups on street corners, but a) so do the old folk b) there isn't much else for them to do.
A local group of lads have been doing loads of work raising money to get a skatepark built. There should be reports about kids like these to even out all of the negative press.
I say give the kids a break.
Gromit - that's the first sensible thing you've said - you're a little confused.
No, I wouldn't spend a whole load of money - that's not the answer - but neither is the answer to ignore the problem and just give up - because it won't go away.
And yes, we do have some bad parents in our little village, so you do find them everywhere.
And no again, I don't read the Daily Mail.
No, I wouldn't spend a whole load of money - that's not the answer - but neither is the answer to ignore the problem and just give up - because it won't go away.
And yes, we do have some bad parents in our little village, so you do find them everywhere.
And no again, I don't read the Daily Mail.
Now I'm a lot confused. Your idylic little village is now full of scroats!?
Anyway, back to the original question and your answer. - "Education - but I fear the problem is now too deeply ingrained." Can you elaborate a bit because this is very vague - at the moment that phrase sounds exactly what you are accusing me of, "...ignore the problem and just give up" .
I have only accused you of being a Daily Mail reader once, so I don't know why you are saying "no, again ". Do people constantly think your a Mail reader? Might explain why they are violent towards you.
Anyway, back to the original question and your answer. - "Education - but I fear the problem is now too deeply ingrained." Can you elaborate a bit because this is very vague - at the moment that phrase sounds exactly what you are accusing me of, "...ignore the problem and just give up" .
I have only accused you of being a Daily Mail reader once, so I don't know why you are saying "no, again ". Do people constantly think your a Mail reader? Might explain why they are violent towards you.
Thank you for your views.
Admittedly, "over-running" was a little too emotive but it stimulated the debate.
Gromit - the cycle I refer to is not the time cycle you quote but the family cycle. A family where there has been no work ethic, for instance, will pass on this trait to the next generation and so on. This cycle won't break unless something outside the family happens to break it.
I think everyone is born equal and the circumstances they are born into influences their lives. I would like to think that all the children born in this fortunate country should have the right to a childhood free of abuse in any form and be able to make the best of their lives. I am not naieve enough to believe it's going to happen but I'd like to think that there are enough of us out there to make it a bit better.
Incidentally, according to BBC2's "Newsnight" last night, the child in question is now believed to have some form of disorder that may need to be treated medically. That sort of proves my point. Why did it take till this unfortunate publicised episode to get the family the help they need?
Admittedly, "over-running" was a little too emotive but it stimulated the debate.
Gromit - the cycle I refer to is not the time cycle you quote but the family cycle. A family where there has been no work ethic, for instance, will pass on this trait to the next generation and so on. This cycle won't break unless something outside the family happens to break it.
I think everyone is born equal and the circumstances they are born into influences their lives. I would like to think that all the children born in this fortunate country should have the right to a childhood free of abuse in any form and be able to make the best of their lives. I am not naieve enough to believe it's going to happen but I'd like to think that there are enough of us out there to make it a bit better.
Incidentally, according to BBC2's "Newsnight" last night, the child in question is now believed to have some form of disorder that may need to be treated medically. That sort of proves my point. Why did it take till this unfortunate publicised episode to get the family the help they need?
go back 40 years - look at the mods and the rockers
Kids today are nothing in comparison
go back 30 years - look at the punks.
Two punks I knew who had green hair are now both chartered accountants - but still listen to the same old rubbish ;-)
The only thing that has changed is media coverage - naomi says it in her first answer: "Gromit, I don't know which papers you read - I can only presume the Beano, because you're clearly missing something."
I'm afraid the tabloid press loves to reinforce peoples stereotypes
Kids today are nothing in comparison
go back 30 years - look at the punks.
Two punks I knew who had green hair are now both chartered accountants - but still listen to the same old rubbish ;-)
The only thing that has changed is media coverage - naomi says it in her first answer: "Gromit, I don't know which papers you read - I can only presume the Beano, because you're clearly missing something."
I'm afraid the tabloid press loves to reinforce peoples stereotypes
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles /news/news.html?in_article_id=442450&in_page_i d=1770
Go back 40 years - look at the Mods and Rockers kids today are nothing in comparison, so says oneeyedvic. Perhaps he sould read the above link.
It is obvious this person is far too young to have any idea of how kids where in the past. The Mods & Rockers where indeed a wild bunch and not against having a punch up, when they met up, but by todays standards they where angels. Incidentally Mods & Rockers were youths of 17 onwards not the vilolent little thugs (boys and girls alike), we see today.
It is indeed all down to inadequate parenting. We all come into this world the same way. Some will say it is down to the lack of opportunities, poor environment, etc.etc. All the usual reasons that are constantly wheeled out by the PC Brigade. What a lot of rubbish, years ago conditions where alot worse. Very poor housing, no benefits then to support the jobless families, no family allowance, no NHS to call on when there was illness, yet the kids where bought up to show respect, and pity you if you brought any trouble home to your family. And if some did fall by the wayside, there was then the full force of the law to take care of them, cuff across the ear by the local copper, Borstal, harsh prison sentences, and the ultimate capital punishment.
It is how we are trained from an early age that makes the difference. Today we see very little disipline and respect for others taught by some parents. Ask any head teacher that has to deal on a daily basis with vilolent parents, when their little off-spring has been punished in someway for being unruly. No one in authority has any powers these days to disipline unruliness in youngsters, whether it is by the police, park wardens or teachers.
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Go back 40 years - look at the Mods and Rockers kids today are nothing in comparison, so says oneeyedvic. Perhaps he sould read the above link.
It is obvious this person is far too young to have any idea of how kids where in the past. The Mods & Rockers where indeed a wild bunch and not against having a punch up, when they met up, but by todays standards they where angels. Incidentally Mods & Rockers were youths of 17 onwards not the vilolent little thugs (boys and girls alike), we see today.
It is indeed all down to inadequate parenting. We all come into this world the same way. Some will say it is down to the lack of opportunities, poor environment, etc.etc. All the usual reasons that are constantly wheeled out by the PC Brigade. What a lot of rubbish, years ago conditions where alot worse. Very poor housing, no benefits then to support the jobless families, no family allowance, no NHS to call on when there was illness, yet the kids where bought up to show respect, and pity you if you brought any trouble home to your family. And if some did fall by the wayside, there was then the full force of the law to take care of them, cuff across the ear by the local copper, Borstal, harsh prison sentences, and the ultimate capital punishment.
It is how we are trained from an early age that makes the difference. Today we see very little disipline and respect for others taught by some parents. Ask any head teacher that has to deal on a daily basis with vilolent parents, when their little off-spring has been punished in someway for being unruly. No one in authority has any powers these days to disipline unruliness in youngsters, whether it is by the police, park wardens or teachers.
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