Stoner Battered By Monkeys

[spathiphyllum]

Does it get better than this?

https://www.vice.com/en_nz/article/9kv5b8/stoned-kiwi-breaks-into-zoo-gets-bashed-by-tiny-monkeys?utm_source=vicefbanz&utm_campaign=global&fbclid=IwAR2SZVxxn9yRYqb4G07pe-3TK8wHHNW8lj9bjTCXN6hIkEZ4czjSGqdq0vc

[pastafreak]

I'd say he got what he deserved,though the sentence was a bit light

[spathiphyllum]

"Police had been chasing John for a string of unrelated offences over the previous seven months, including an unprovoked assault on a man waiting at traffic lights, an alcohol-fuelled attack at a convenience store, and assaults on a Wellington City Council community safety officer and a night shelter resident who refused to hand over cigarettes"

Seems the guy is just trouble! So i agree... Sentence him longer! Breaking and entering to a zoo is OTT

[kvalidir]

What an absolute tool :/

[pastafreak]

I'd call it karma. The monkeys got him for what he's done to humans ;)

[spathiphyllum]

true! I feel bad for the monkeys, apparently it stressed them out.. Squirrel monkeys are timid primates

[jno]

they don't sound all that timid.

Just as well he didn't try the tiger cage.

[CrapAtCryptics]

Kiwi 0 Monkeys 1

[cassa333]

The Tiger enclosure would probably have secured him a place on the Darwin Awards.

[emmie]

no, what a turnip...

[Lie-in King]

Idiot. Go monkeys.

[ludwig]

This is a terrible thing to have happened. I hope the monkeys weren't too stressed, and are making a good recovery.

[Ellipsis]

> Does it get better than this?

Yes:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-44728507

[Mamyalynne]

Poor creatures, glad he's now on the other side of the bars.

[youngmafbog]

Got his just deserts.

Sounds like he is pond life anyway, pity the sentence wasn't a bit more.

[ludwig]

Yes indeed...

[emmie]

Ellipsis gruesome but what a result for the rhinos'

[Old_Geezer]

Giving lions a taste of human may not be the bonus one might initially think it is.

[hereIam]

Go monkeys, go lions and go whitetail deer !

[ummmm]

A monkey tried to rob me once. Strong little effers!!

(this was on the Rock of Gibraltar, not me breaking into a zoo)

[Spicerack]

I tried to steal an armadillo when I was drunk.
Woke up with an awful tatou.