I Was Terrible

marval | 16:58 Sun 29th Apr 2018 | Jokes

6 Answers

I was never one to make a scene. Which is probably why I was a terrible playwright.

I’ve just climbed to the top of a mountain, it gave me summit to do.

An electrician was arrested after a brawl in the pub last night. He was eventually discharged.

I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero and it has amounted to nothing.

I was running naked on the beach for a dare and found a stash of money.
That was a lucky streak.

My partner has just caught me red handed. Tell you what, this painting without gloves sure is a messy business.

I have never wanted to be a writer, but after meeting The Godfather I think that will change. He said he is going to make me an Author, I can’t refuse.

I keep having dreams about raisins and sultanas. It’s recurrent.

I was booking into a cheap hotel in Liverpool when the owner asked “Do you have a good memory for faces?” “Yes quite well” I replied. “That’s okay then” he said “Because there’s no mirror in your bathroom.”

I have just been told off by trading standards for selling cheap cod.
He gave me a Pollocking.