gness - "But, Minty....if I ended up drunk in a hotel room with x or y or z I could be raped because the man wanted to rape me...
If I ended up drunk in a hotel room with say...Andy...I would be safe and looked after til I sobered my silly self up.....unless of course Mrs Andy turned up....☺"
This is the crux of the argument I have been putting forward for the last couple of days.
There is a school of thought among some AB'ers that if a woman puts herself in, shall we say, certain situations, then that in some way includes her in the responsibility of her assault, regrettable though everyone agrees it is.
My point is, there is no automatic 'get into bed free' card issued because a woman enters a man's hotel room.
I personally would not engage in any activity with any woman if she was drunk that I was not one hundred per cent sure she would do with equal enthusiasm if she were sober.
Obviously, if my aquaintance with her is a few hours only - I would not feel it my sworn duty as a man to 'have a go because it's rude not to when she's turned up here ...' which seems to be almost the accepted scenario for some posters on this thread.
My point is, if a woman is saying no, or by default of inconciousness not saying yes, then the right to sexual abuse should not be assumed by the man who happens to be there.
It's not automatic.
A man has to make a concious deicison to rape a woman - he's not a jack-in-the-box - flip the catch and off he goes.
We are talking a serious sexual assault of a woman unable to give or deny consent, and the advantage taken of her by a virtual stranger, and what i find more disturbing, the perception that she was at least partly responsible, of not directly to balme, as a result of her actions.
It simply does not work like that.
If I am walking down the street, and an old lady falls over in front of me, and her purse spills her money all over the pavvement, does that give me the right to help myself to her cash because she is too dazed to say no?
We are a civilised society. I have never, and will never accept that men will 'take advantage if its offered ...' and the way around that is not to be with a man you don't know.
It is incumbent on any man to assess a situation, and realise that such behaviour is not only unaccetpable, it is a criminal offence.
And no, a woman is not 'partly to blame ...' because she has gone to a room with a man she barely knows.
Women are entitled to respect, consideration and protection wherever they are, whomever they are with, and whatever state they are in when the get there.