O F A H Lines......

[ToraToraTora]

I'll start:

Grandad: "That Sidney Potter 's a good actor ain't he, always plays the black fella" 😁

[mushroom25]

more Grandad: Your dad always said that one day Del Boy would reach the top. Then again, he always said Millwall would win the cup.

[Arksided]

Del – That’s right. There’s a Rhino Loose in the City!

Albert – What’s it about Del?

[ToraToraTora]

Rodney: Why do they call him trigger? does he carry a gun?

Del: No it's because he looks like a horse!

[Arksided]

Trigger – Oh, I don’t know Mr Slater.

Slater – No, you’re deaf, dumb and blind these days ain’t yer! I bet you’re a wizard on the pinball machine!

[naomi24]

Cwying.  🤣

[Ken4155]

Once when Trigger was talking about his father, he said, "He died a couple of years before i was born."

[naomi24]

“This old broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time.”

[jollyroger66]

" It says Rooney "

[ToraToraTora]

come on, pretty poor so far......

"In the end a bird wants a bloke to be a bloke and a bloke wants a bird to be a bird....that's bonnet de douche!"

 

[mushroom25]

Grandad: (to the Police) Rodney's got a police record!

Del Boy: Yes, er... it's "Walking on the Moon".

[Arksided]

Mike: So?
Trigger: What?
Mike: What name have they decided on?
Trigger: If it's a girl they're calling her Sigourney after an actress, and if it's a boy they're naming him Rodney after Dave.

[mushroom25]

[Del has entered a clay pigeon shoot with a pump-action shotgun]

Rodney: Oi, where did you get that gun?

Del: Iggy Iggins.

Rodney: Iggy Iggins? He robs banks!

Del: Yeah but today's Saturday.

[ToraToraTora]

^^^ much better....

Del: "Father...I've come to confess my sins"

Father: "Derek.. please I've been invited out to dinner this evening!"

[fripfrip]

Rodney can you hear the phone ringing?

[Deskdiary]

Del: I love duck a l'orange but I don't know how to duck i French.

Rodney: it's canard.

Del: you can say that again bruv. 

[Arksided]

Raquel:  This is a bit like Brief Encounter, isn’t it?
Del:  You reckon?

Raquel:  That’s my favourite film.
Del:  Mine as well.

Raquel:  Really?
Del:  Yes. I loved the bit at the end when the big space ship comes down and the little Martians come out.

[ToraToraTora]

yeah that was a classic arky, BA

[ToraToraTora]

Del in the market....

...this is none of Taiwan rubbish, this was made in Formosa!

[mushroom25]

Del: We got lost in the middle of the North Sea. Luckily we spotted the Zeebrugge to Hull ferry and we followed it.

Abdul: And that's how you got to Hull?

Del: No. that's how we got to Zeebrugge. It was going the wrong bloody way.

[ToraToraTora]

Del: I'll have a singapore sling and an australian lager for jumbo..

Mike: I only do British Lager Del, Kronenbourg, Hofmeister etc!