Markle Miscarriage

[smurfchops]

It is very sad that she suffered a miscarriage, don’t get me wrong, but why oh why do we have to suffer her every day in the news. I thought they both wanted PRIVACY but they cannot wait to get their faces and woes everywhere can they? I wonder if the long drawn out speech of her miscarriage was written by her by the way?

[naomi24]

// Not initially, and of course they should not, but the avoidance of the subject makes them feel ashamed, as though it is their fault. //

///I disagree with that assertion.///

So do I. However much some people find the urge to ‘blurt’ upon any subject under the sun irresistible, there are times when they really should force themselves to simply put a well-aimed sock in it.

[naomi24]

The same applies to 22:45.

[andy-hughes]

Naomi, do you imagine that I 'blurt' without thinking?

Not for the first time you are wrong.

It's pompous to assume that just because you don't agree with what I say, I must lack the intellect to have thought about it first.

I would not do you the discourtesy of assuming that about any post of yours.

[naomi24]

I don't 'imagine' anything about you, AH - but I know for a fact that you have never experienced a miscarriage. Take some good advice for once.

[tomus42]

// why oh why do we have to suffer her every day in the news //

Because the newspapers report everything she says and does. Complain to them. Tell them you're not interested.

[emmie]

i have and it's devastating.

[andy-hughes]

Naomi, not experiencing something is not a bar to having and expressing an opinion about it.

You have never had an interview with a musician published in an international magazine, but you felt I must have your (derogatory) opinion about me doing so.

As I always say, I'm not a Holocaust survivor, but I still have an opinion about Nazis.

When is this 'good advice' coming from, since it clearly isn't going to be from you!

[tinkerbell23]

Boto thats a crap comment- I delivered a child two years ago in december.... you cannot begin to imagine what an 11 hour labour with no reward at the end is like!

Id consider it more sharing or raising awareness than whineing!

Its 1 in 4.... I am one of the 1 in 4

[naomi24]

ah, //You have never had an interview with a musician published in an international magazine//

Really? Are you sure about that?

Carry on making a fool of yourself. Your choice.

[emmie]

tink, there are plenty of crap comments on here, i am amazed that just because she is the Do Sussex that she has no feelings, or shouldn't say something about her loss.

[Barsel]

I dare not say too much about what I feel about MM because I will be jumped on by those of you who think she is a normal regular person, she isn't. If you don't know how she has been criticised in the past few years then you must have your head buried in the sand. They want privacy except when it suits them/her and now they want everyone to know she has had a miscarriage so that everyone will say 'Are you ok' and she will get lots of people feeling sorry for her as if she is the only one that has ever had a miscarriage. Before you ask, yes, I have had a miscarriage, did I want the world to know? No. Did I feel ashamed, No. Did I grieve? Yes, in private with my husband. Sorry, I knew this would end in a rant, but that woman really riles me more than anyone.

[andy-hughes]

Naomi - I'd put money on it! 'Scratching for pennies...' is well beneath your towering intellect!

Off to bed now, could you look down on someone else until tomorrow..

Happy blurting!!!

[tinkerbell23]

I think she has just spoken out to raise awareness or perhaps like me she takes comfort in sharing- I have been and continue to be VERY open despite how uncomfortable it makes people because it should be spoken about!!!

It amazes me to this day I had to give birth in the same labour ward as other mothers- i could hear them & see them! I could see the wee babies and the lovely balloons it was horrendous! Then i went to the same normal
Scanning dept as all the nice mums having nice scans except mines was to ensure there was nothing left!!!!!

Horrific x

[tinkerbell23]

They want privacy but have the right to share & speak out when they choose to do so- and I am NOT a fan of the royals.... far from
It!

[andy-hughes]

Barsel, you say MM wants privacy until she doesn't, but that's a right for everyone - why should she be exempt?

[andy-hughes]

Tink, I can only sympathise with your experience, and endorse your observation.

[Barmaid]

IMHO this type of thing is very subjective. Some people can deal with this type of loss - others less so. Neither is wrong and even if you have been in that situation, how it might affect you might be quite different as to how it affects someone else. Feelings are very subjective and unique to the person in that situation. Being able to discuss those feelings and come to terms with them is very important.

I know someone who had an early term miscarriage many years ago and shortly afterwards was told she would never have children. Only a select few people knew of her ordeal and it took her many years to come to term with a) her loss and b) her inability to have children. Her feelings were extremely complicated - but they were her feelings. Perhaps if there was a little more understanding, she might not have cried for many years on the anniversary of her loss and she may have been able to discuss it openly. It is only within the last few years that she has moved on from that loss and I know for a fact that her feelings encompassed many things including loss, guilt, shame, anger, hurt; all set alongside a thought of "what if" - what if her child had been born healthy and who that child might be today.

I once went through an experience which has helped me to help others in a similar situation and the one thing that I learned is that the only thing you can do is listen and not judge because ALL feelings are valid. I am of the view that the Duchess of Sussex is unlikely to have harmed anyone by what is a very personal and personally wounding disclosure. Furthermore, if she has helped one grieving mother or father to be that is only a good thing in an otherwise awful situation.

And I really do wish that these threads would not descend into personal spats and one-up-manship and people defending their own corner so that the whole thing ends up de-railed. It has become a very unpleasant side of AB.

[tinkerbell23]

I didnt feel ashamed but the first thing someone asked (in grief) was if i had been eating ok? As if to seek blame!

Ive lost friendships over it- people who were closed minded and mistreated me!

Im so lucky to be pregnant now but you never stop checking for blood or a heartbeat or problems.

One dosent replace another!

Ive been very open and had over 60 “me too” emails from other mothers and it helped us all to share x