I Applied

marval | 19:23 Sat 19th May 2018 | Jokes

17 Answers

I applied for a job at a carpenters the other day. I had to demonstrate my skill with a piece of wood. I nailed it.

I knew a man who chopped down trees in his sleep. He was a slumberjack.

I felt a bit weird when I stopped round my friend’s house and he told me to sleep in the camp bed. I’m not too sure about pink silk sheets and rose petals on the pillow.

I have just started my new job. I upgrade fairytale houses that are made from straw or sticks. It is not much, but it keeps the wolf from the door.

My friend wanted me to help him when he abseiled for charity. I had to let him down.

I asked a couple of friends where I should go in Croatia. Opinions were Split.

I am a postman as well as a part-time standup comedian. I am quite good at it, it is all in the delivery.

My pet lizard leaned back onto his hind legs earlier and told a really good joke. He is a stand up chameleon.

I was asked to appear in a film about walking dogs. I have got the lead.

I have told all my friends I have a hot date tonight. It sounds better than saying, I am eating warm fruit.

I went for a job interview at the Foreign Office. I couldn’t understand a word anyone said.

My partner left me because of my constant animal puns. He just couldn’t bear it, so he swanned off. Well at least I no longer have to listen to him keep rabbiting on.