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sleep on first dates?

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mixture | 20:56 Sat 16th Jul 2005 | Body & Soul
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I've met this guy recently on a holiday. We spent two days together with my friend and his mate as well and we all had loads of fun. I didn't have any special feelings for him back then but thought he was nice so agreed to meet up with him after coming back from holiday.So we had our ' first date' after some days of  emailing and talking on the phone. We got to know each other a lot and I started to think he was a wonderful man! I really enjoyed being with him and I'm sure he did too. After having dinner, he kind of asked me to come over to his place, but I was really surprised with this for I didn't have a clue and I've actually reacted that way( in a refusing way) and that was very rude come to think of it. He laughed and said it was a joke but it was a bit weird while he was driving me home even though we were being normal. We didn't talk about when to meet next time and I've emailed him once about nothing important but he hasn't replied for three days.

Do you think he felt rejected for I've been rude or did he just want to sleep with me in the first place and now backing off for he couldn't get what he wanted? How can you tell the difference when a man wants to sleep on first dates???

I'm also starting to like him so I don't really want to let go of this relationship. What should I do? Or is there no turning back?

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Its a tough one. One the one hand he may not have had sex on his mind, in which case he'll feel rejected, or on the other hand he may have had sex planned. If that was all he was after it's no great loss, but if it was to be the first of many nights for the two of you he's probably feeling a little hurt and confused. My advice would be to ask him out again in a situation where sex isnt on the menu at all to see if he's interested, like a lunch, or going to the cinema, or even just make him aware you have to be somewhere at a certain time. He won't agree if all he's after is your body. Humph, men!

Did you ever know a man who DIDN'T have sex on his mind! LOL

(and between his legs!)

basically, you should chill.  3 days is nothing, so if you want to wait for an answer, give it 7 days.  if he doesn't reply say 'f**k him' and move on with your life.  i would say 80% of young men just want the sex and no relationship, so those are your odds.  be strong, you are young so have lots ahead of you.  go out and have fun.  don't spend your time thinking about one guy.  if he wants to see you it's up to him to do the chasing, don't waste another minute thinking about him.  be yourself and if he can't deal with what you have to say he's not the one for you.  ALWAYS be yourself, don't be what you 'think' they want.  do what you WANT to do, not what you think they or others want.  be in control of what sex you want.

you are great - be strong, take care

maybe he thought it was a holiday romance that might have got some fun out of after the holiday and now thinks it isnt worth the hassle if he isnt getting that much out of it.....or he could just be a bit busy right now.

My advice is to wait 2 days, if nothing then send him a short email saying that u feel like he is ignoring u and u arent going to chase after him if he isnt interested so either get back to u and tell u whats going on one way or the other or uwill take it that he dont want to know u now. Then wait, if u get an email then u know the score and if u dont then give up cos it isnt really worth it if he isnt interested

As a bloke, I suspect that he was hoping for some bedroom action.  Who knows, you might have "given in" on that first date and still not have heard from him.

Don't jump to any conclusions just yet, give him a chance to prove that he is a wonderful man as you first thought, if he can't or doesn't even try, then move on.

Question Author

Thanks guys! I've learned a lot from you all. It's been almost a week since that date and there's still no email nor phone call from him. All I do is just think what's on his mind and I know that isn't going to help at all so I'm going to contact him again and find out. If there's no reply this time, I'll be able to move on.

Thanks a lot!

Hey babes, just wondering how you got on if you contacted him? Fingers crossed!
Question Author
actually, he contacted me before I did soon after. Just some emails and I was really glad at first, but he never replies my emails that has questions attached to it and whenever he contacts me its always a week after. I feel he's sort of playing games with me so I started to cool down a bit. But I think I needed to cool down cause I've been worrying too much. I'm kind of seeing how it goes now.
No, but hubby and I slept together on the second date.

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