Divorce Advice Please

[jno]

jnr jnr and his wife have split (she lasted a couple of years before having an affair).

Before they were an item he had a flat in London, which he later sold so they could buy one together in her howm town. He reckons this provided 70-80% of the money they needed. But she's now demanding half as her share of the settlement.

He thinks this is a bit unfair. He doesn't want to punish her (the law no longer recognises adultery anyway) and he's even offered to split the difference; but he would like something closer to the proportion they put in.

Is there any way of getting this? How exactly are these settlements worked out?

Putting this in CB because the Law section seems to be mostly GBH.

[marval]

Just bumping this up, in the hope someone who knows sees it.

[EDDIE51]

Not incorporated into UK law fully yet but Divorce is 'no fault' now.
Adultery by the male or female does not effect the result. Aim is to ensure that each side is restored to the same state as if no union had taken place.

[jno]

Eddie, does that suggest she won't necessarily get the 50-50 split she wants? I know adultery no longer has any effect, but given that both of them are in reasonable employment, neither is particularly in need of support.

How are these things sorted out, if the parties can't agree?

(Thanks, marval.)

[ummmm]

jno - I bought a house, paid the deposit, paid the mortgage on my own for 3 years. My BF moved in and after a while we decided to put him on the mortgage, which is like a remortgage.

Stupidly we just had a verbal agreement. That was if the relationship went tits up and the house had to be sold I'd get my deposit back and the equity from when I bought it to when it was revalued for him to go on the mortgage.

That didn't happen. It got half.

[murraymints]

50/50 usually the outcome

[jno]

what's the actual procedure for working these things out? Do you just throw lawyers at it?

[ummmm]

I went to a family solicitors. Can't remember how much it cost.

[jno]

I guess the question is whether a solicitor gets you a better deal than he/she costs in fees :-(

[ummmm]

He might be able to have a free consultation. I think that's what I did to start with (quite a few years ago now) the solicitor just stated the facts and stated if I wanted to argue the case, and she understood why I would, that it would probably cost me much more in the long run. She did argue a few minor things on my behalf which saved me a few thousand.

[jno]

he's already had a free consultation a year ago. It's now just a matter of whether it's financially worth pursuing any further.

So what actually happens if nobody wants to back down on their claim? Does it end up in arbitration or in court or what?

[237SJ]

When my friend married her first husband, she brought everything to the marriage financially and he had nothing. She owned her own house and when the husband walked out on her 3 years later, he tried to take half of the house. Like an idiot, he employed a cheap divorce solicitor from the internet who, as it turned out, had been struck off and she used her family solicitor. All the husband managed to get back was the equivalent of his 3 year's worth of mortgage payments. The courts sorted it out.

[ummmm]

If they go to arbitration it's gonna cost a lot of money in fees. My solicitor advised me against it.

I suppose it depends how much money is involved. Sometimes it's cheaper to cut your losses.

I 100% understand your frustration. So friggin annoying!

[Old_Geezer]

Been a few years ago now, but when my sister moved into a house with her partner he supplied nothing at all, so she got him to sign an agreement that if they split he wouldn't have a claim. Turned out that was worthless, he took half anyway. Law may have changed since then though.

[jno]

thanks, people. It's really his problem, I'm just a sad bystander wondering what happens next. He spent all his spare time for a year refurbing his original flat and doubling its value, so it looks like it could be a lot of time and money down the drain. We'll just have to see what his solicitor advises, I suppose.

[EDDIE51]

If the two sides, with or without lawyers can't come to a mutual agreement then the court will decide the case for them. So there may not be a 50/50 split. The court only looks at each sides finances and contribution , it aims that as far as possible each side is the same situation as if the marriage had never taken place.
In my opinion a lawyer's fees will be a lot more than any extra cash one or other party may gain or lose by just letting the court make the decision. Of course a lawyer will tell you otherwise, they are in it just to earn as much in fees as possible!

[jno]

much as I feared, Eddie, though if the balance of contributions to buying the flat really was as he says it might still be worth a try. She brought very little money to it.

[EDDIE51]

When my daughter was going through a divorce the lawyer told us it was £10,000 up front just to prepare a case and nothing back if the case failed! We did it without the lawyer! just put her case to the court and it worked out quite well.

[Islay]

JNO I can only hope that you get full and proper information from a proper lawyer as in Barmaid and PP as opposed to what they think is the right advice!