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difficult work colleagues

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curiousmind1 | 14:32 Sun 11th Apr 2010 | Jobs & Education
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Hey, i have probably brought some of this on myself as I am quite a reserved and shy person (and no matter how much I try I cannot change into some kind of bubbly outgoing party animal).

Also Im probably thinking too much over this and shouldnt waste my thoughts on people not worthy of them but something is really starting to bug me.

The problem is this, I cant handle over bearing people wether it be my parents or people at work / friends... I tend to instead of confront them and put them in their place just ignore their idle chatter and get on with my work, I find a lot of people use idle chatter to gain popularity or some kind of power??

The thing is Im feeling like there is a big gulf today in respect for elders, there was a older guy in my last job and even though I had a degree he once had the nerve to tell me I need to know my place and that I wasnt a high flyer like the other workers (even though I had better qualifications but less work experience) ...he also once told me I was not 'the sharpest pencil in the box' .......I did aspire to have a career once upon a time and still do, but the amount of morons you have to deal with to get there is unreal.

Then more recently I had to work in retail not out of choice but more because I couldnt get back into my chosen career as it was proving almost impossible.

Anyway there was some young 20 year old guy there and his behaviour was very odd, he was a spoilt brat and thought everyone was beneath him. Nobody could stand the guy, but because of work we HAD to.

Anyway its like he tried my boundaries because he made out he was this larger than life joker, yet he was very vindictive and b1tchy. It makes me wonder sometimes no wonder so many people stay on the dole, its better to keep your sanity than start questioning yourself because of other people and their motives.

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im 7 years older than him, and ive always avoided confrontation but he was SO abrupt and ABRASIVE. its not even like it was an important job but it seemed to give him some kind of macho satisfaction to try and boss people. The thing is it was a large company so it was pretty easy to bully people or go over the line.

He once smeared cake on my car and I was absoloutley fuming but I was caught between not waNTING to look like a bitter old man but also didnt want him to know he had got to me. Then came the catty comments, not just with me but with others, he called me slow....(ive got a degree hes just out of school)....then he also said things to customers to try and make me look silly like 'dont worry hes not all there'

I know Ive left there now and have fantastic colleagues now, but its just left me feeling fragile and that I am incapable of standing up to these cheeky little twerps and think turning the cheek is the best way, when in reality its letting them get away with it. Thoughts?
Whilst I don't expect anyone to have an automatic respect for elders just because of their age, there is a place for common courtesy, after which point we earn extra respect from others according to how we treat them. I'm just 50, but I'm quite friendly with a lady in her late 60s who at first meeting is a bit of a dithery old lady. However, as I've got to know her, I find she has so much to offer aside from the things she can't do as well as I can and I'm beginning to value her opinion more and more.

I have also been called 'slow' in the past, although by people older or the same age as, rather than younger than me. I'm not as shallow as some and not quite so inclined to hang on to someone's every word just because they speak louder than everyone else. Nevertheless I've always felt the need to prove my intelligence and have thus gained a couple of degrees for myself.

Luckily I now find myself in a job where the team seem to appreciate the value of individual skills/experience contributing to the whole, but it's been a long time coming. Ironically, because of this environment, I now don't feel the need to prove myself so much. Thing is, I'm enjoying the OU study so much that I'm now just doing it for the sake of it. I've also developed a couple of hobbies for which I'm gaining equal respect.

Whether the fact of absorbing myself into my study and hobbies has caused me to stop dwelling on what people think of me, or whether it's just not happening anymore, I don't know. If they still call me slow or dozy, I can't say I notice it.

As an afterthought, I used to work with a very nice chap who was older than most of the team and quite deaf. He knew perfectly well that many of them thought he was stupid, but he told me once that he liked it that way. "When they think you can't hear them or are too stupid to understand them," he said, "it's amazing what you overhear."
havent you asked this before under your previous name / names?

you ned to try and move on. If you cant work with these sorts of people then its time to search for another job.
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Theres always someone who you dont always get on with or find a prat, im currently working for a firm which isnt run very well, my manager is a prat, and theres a 23 year old who is a complete Snag
Forgot to sya i understand where your coming form curious
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two things or incidents to do with colleagues have really irked me over the years and ive struggled to come to terms with them....

what annoys me the most is these loudmouths see shy people as weak and they can talk and talk over them and will appear more important, when infact half the stuff they come out with is garbage.

when i was young a so called friend stole some lager from my fathers pub ?(id got him a part time job there) still to this day i feel like if i told him it bothered me hed tell me to get a grip theres more important thingas in life, but i cant stand the way some people take liberties.

This other guy who i mentioned in my post, had the cheek one day to smear cake all over my bonnet and windscreen and even admitted to my face that it was him, he also tried provoking managers etc, its like some people have literlly no respect for anyone and no limits how far they will go. I guess what bothers me is the feeling if i was some meathead hard man he wouldnt probably have had the cheek to do that.

I know in the big wide world its not a major issue but if u dont nip ppl like this in the bud they become awful. I tried to just ignore him but that made him worse if anything

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