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Shaglene | 09:27 Mon 01st Oct 2018 | Jokes
6 Answers

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

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In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

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In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...

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In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

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In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

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Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

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Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...

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Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

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Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

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Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

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Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

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On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife

And Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day..

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya' think?

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers


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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

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Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!



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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better than a fair trial!

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War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

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V.G.
These signs are hilarious. Mentioning proof reading reminded me of a newspaper report a few years ago. It related to a robbery that had taken place and ended with "Constable x is a detective in the police farce". they realised their mistake as a few days later there was a correction , "Constable x is, of course, a defective in the police force".
All Very very funny. Love the elephants stay in cars. :-)
FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: Love, Grandma x
The 'If you can't read....' one reminds me of when the NUT produced a bumper sticker 'If you can read this, thank a teacher' and the school rep had it on his car. Naturally, we got lots of kids to go up to him and ask what it said! He couldn't see the funny side, oddly enough.
I always chuckle at a spoof sign that was supposed to be at Northampton General Hospital
It was a direction sign for "The Family Planning Advice Clinic"
Underneath it said,"Please use the Rear Door" Chortlesplutter. :-)

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