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Today's Fabulous Alternative Menu For The More Adventurous (OK, Heston?)

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Androcles | 13:42 Thu 08th Apr 2010 | Food & Drink
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Been Awfully busy today but Hugh gave me an idea. At this time of year our vets are busy converting male calves and sheep to something more useful, (snip, snip). What a waste of good meat! With the aid of some clingfilm. my trusty rolling pin and a marinade of sesame oil made from our own seeds, lemon juice, salt, pepper and a sprinkling of really freshly picked herbs, we present carpaccio of cojones, accompanied by a pickled salad of cucumber, olives, capers from our own nasturtiums and sliced leeks, with hot crusty bread and a dip of dijon mustard in Balsamic vinegar from our own vats.

OR

For the really adventurous, Very Special Noodles from Taiwan. Specially imported, made with the intestines of the edible dog, cleaned and cut into rings, before cooking in a sauce and serving with noodles. If you don't like the sound of it, don't worry, think of it as very chewy calamari. The sauce is made with rice wine, onion, garlic , ginger, five spice powder, oyster sauce, dark and light soya sauce and broccoli.

OR

My really special Australian Omelette served with potatoes, mixed mushrooms, pepper and chile, garlic, red onion and courgettes made with an Ostrich Egg from our Ostrich Farm, so there's plenty for everybody.

For afters a special Rhubarb Jelly, made from boiling our own calves feet and skimming many times to get purest gelatine, served with a wonderful blancmange made with buffalo milk, or profiteroles filled with banana custard with a crispy toffee topping with fresh cream from our own dairy.

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You really need to get out more :)

(excellent BTW)
Recommend something only after you've tried it yourself. :-)
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