ChatterBank2 mins ago
One For The Oldies
122 Answers
Eating in the Fifties.
Takeaway was an arithmetic operation.
Pizza was something to do with a Leaning Tower.
All crisps were plain, the only choice being whether to add the enclosed salt.
A Chinese Chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a pudding, never part of main course.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it rained.
Brown bread was something only the poor ate.
Oil was for lubricating, lard was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp and came in a bottle.
Cube sugar was regarded as Posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn’t have fingers.
Eating raw fish was poverty, not Sushi.
We hadn’t heard of yoghurt.
Spam was processed meat.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only encountered in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not recognised food.
“Kebab” wasn’t even a word, never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good Press, regarded as “White Gold”.
Corona was a bottled drink.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, Muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of a tap, if anyone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol they would have become a laughing stock.
One thing never on the meal table was elbows.
Takeaway was an arithmetic operation.
Pizza was something to do with a Leaning Tower.
All crisps were plain, the only choice being whether to add the enclosed salt.
A Chinese Chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a pudding, never part of main course.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it rained.
Brown bread was something only the poor ate.
Oil was for lubricating, lard was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp and came in a bottle.
Cube sugar was regarded as Posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn’t have fingers.
Eating raw fish was poverty, not Sushi.
We hadn’t heard of yoghurt.
Spam was processed meat.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only encountered in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not recognised food.
“Kebab” wasn’t even a word, never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good Press, regarded as “White Gold”.
Corona was a bottled drink.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, Muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of a tap, if anyone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol they would have become a laughing stock.
One thing never on the meal table was elbows.
Answers
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If you, as an ABER, can rig expenses that are phony,
While everyone believes that they are real;
If you can take long lunches with a News thread crony,
And make your 'Business-Finance' lead think you’ve closed a deal;
If you can get the Chatterbank daily crew to love you,
When in your heart of hearts you think they’re dirt;
If you can look alive to those above you,
When nine to five, outside GMEB, no effort you exert;
If you can seem 'Theland' free-thinking and courageous,
Yet always end up siding with Asquith;
If you can get a mammoth raise in wages,
Yet make her feel you’re working at a loss;
If every line that’s written here you’ve noted,
And every rule and precept you obey,
Then to the highest spot you’ll be promoted,
Unless, of course, you’re Chatterbank knifed along the way.”
If you can keep your Pedant wealth when all about you
Are losing theirs from paying income tax;
If you can make quite sure that no one doubts you
By selling to the Technology networks your own “facts”;
If you can reap the harvest that is waiting
For those who fight both sides of one same Spam & Scam war;
If you spend hours televised or 'what did I have for dinner' debating
Religion or Society for praying and for “welfare for us, the poor”;
If you can trade with TTT's Reds, and all the while
Be charging what they owe to our own Brexit banks;
If you can have us lose a fishing war, then smile,
Because you know you’re only getting thanks;
If you can hold an AB political office, but each minute
Be out afloat, and calmly goin’ fishin’,
The UK. is yours, and all that’s in it,
Because, my son or daughter, you’ll be an AB politician.
While everyone believes that they are real;
If you can take long lunches with a News thread crony,
And make your 'Business-Finance' lead think you’ve closed a deal;
If you can get the Chatterbank daily crew to love you,
When in your heart of hearts you think they’re dirt;
If you can look alive to those above you,
When nine to five, outside GMEB, no effort you exert;
If you can seem 'Theland' free-thinking and courageous,
Yet always end up siding with Asquith;
If you can get a mammoth raise in wages,
Yet make her feel you’re working at a loss;
If every line that’s written here you’ve noted,
And every rule and precept you obey,
Then to the highest spot you’ll be promoted,
Unless, of course, you’re Chatterbank knifed along the way.”
If you can keep your Pedant wealth when all about you
Are losing theirs from paying income tax;
If you can make quite sure that no one doubts you
By selling to the Technology networks your own “facts”;
If you can reap the harvest that is waiting
For those who fight both sides of one same Spam & Scam war;
If you spend hours televised or 'what did I have for dinner' debating
Religion or Society for praying and for “welfare for us, the poor”;
If you can trade with TTT's Reds, and all the while
Be charging what they owe to our own Brexit banks;
If you can have us lose a fishing war, then smile,
Because you know you’re only getting thanks;
If you can hold an AB political office, but each minute
Be out afloat, and calmly goin’ fishin’,
The UK. is yours, and all that’s in it,
Because, my son or daughter, you’ll be an AB politician.
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We called these sandshoes, maybe plimsolls, but absolutely never pumps.
We called these sandshoes, maybe plimsolls, but absolutely never pumps.
Indian Restaurants have a long history.
https:/
Fish Fingers arrived in 1955.
Gymshoes for me.
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Fish Fingers arrived in 1955.
Gymshoes for me.
