Major Goof Ups In The Kitchen - Home Or Away

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DTCwordfan | 15:07 Mon 11th Sep 2017 | Food & Drink
17 Answers
Following NoM's thread on 'How do you eat yours?' I'm just wondering what rich stories you have of things going wrong in your kitchen or that of others. I added this one about getting one's con carne and linguine wrong.

Friend of mine shared the story in from one of our mutual wine suppliers - who lives in Falmouth. He's out in Milan at the moment staying in an Air BandB with friends and, on an evening in, decided to make a chilli con carne and linguini. He went to add some salt for seasoning, later to realise that he had actually added dishwasher powder.......

Living in Brussels was a rich seam for me - (i) going to play bridge with a gf as a partner and we going around to the opposition's house to be confronted by a spag bol where the spaghetti was crunchy to say the least....For Funks Sake who can't cook spaghetti?

(ii) a friend who resembles Jane Torvill and was nicknamed Jane as a result - a devoted Delia Smith fan who was married to a delightful Belgian. We always knew when Jane was in trouble in the kitchen when the increasing volume cry of 'Jacques' went up, her pièce de résistance being when she took on Delia's Pork and Prunes. I don't know what she had done to the dish but the toilet systems of Brussels were subjected to the most incredible storm that evening....

Over to you??


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Was it an Earl Grey-vy, Clo? I'll get me coat ...
15:23 Mon 11th Sep 2017
I was making porridge for me and cheese on toast for him. Sadly the grated cheese didn't make it onto the toast...
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porridge and cheese together, your systems underground must have also been tested, NoM!
My mum made gravy out of tea granules.
Was it an Earl Grey-vy, Clo?

I'll get me coat ...
home-made choccy cake, only Mum used gravy powder instead.
Fortunately all happened before I was even a twinkle in their eye.
Poor woman never lived it down.
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I'm not surprised, Albs xx
I've had to sieve lumpy custard and gravy many times. Came home tipsy from office party (Christmas Eve) made custard to put on part made trifle poured it on the top whilst still hot and it melted through everything. It was in a glass bowl so I put a cake frill round it - nobody noticed!
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a boozy trifle works wonders, margo. I fondly remember my Bloody Mary soup, two thirds of a bottle of vodka into the onions/toms/tom paste/grapefruit juice, a little stock, tabasco, chilli and pepper...."I was only drinking the soup, officer."
Most of my mishaps are at work. Last week the deep fat fryer decided to blow up 30 minutes before lunch. The cooled potatoes that were due to go into the fat became rather lumpy mash. ( have you ever tried to mash cold potatoes?)
Then there was the time I forgot to cook the sausages for lunch...this was 10 minutes before serving. They were done in the then-working fryer...;-)
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oops pasta...... so a bit like American bangers and mash then? xx
At school I was useless in Home Economics. I particularly remember a cake that was about half an inch thick, lopsided and slightly burnt. I just thought "It doesn't matter, I'll cover it with loads of icing. No one will see how terrible it is." I didn't have enough ingredients to make the huge amount of icing I needed. It was like trying to scrape a bit of margarine onto burnt toast. Horrendous. We all had to put our cakes out for everyone to see. I tried to pretend it wasn't mine.
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lol jo, xx

NoM's response to your tea and gravy granules gets my BA at this time! Very clever.....
Yep, I liked NoMercy's line. Very good.
I'll have to remember that for when it comes up again with the family.
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lol true... our family disasters were those such as a memory of my great grandparents, mater side, and she was a wonderful baker....Sunday afternoon tea with the trolley wheeled into the 'best room' and with it groaning with delicate sarnies, scones, cakes and everything home-made bar the massive jug of Cornish clotted destined for my great-grandfather once all had taken a polite dollop - and the silver teapot etc.

Then the caster wheel on one leg gave away - and forget the tidal surge of Irma.
Ooh dear, we had a similar thing, DTC. One Christmas we had a butchers trolley covered in dips, salad, bread, sauces, fish, meat etc. A tiny pin came out of a castor and the whole lot went everywhere. I still haven't got the stains out of the wallpaper.
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lol, I was only 3 or so and still remember the crash!
When I had builder in once he decided to have cup of tea which was not a problem - unfortunately he used a bag of soup thickening which he found quite interesting lol

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