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50 Shades of Leeds (for a bra-less gness)

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sunny-dave | 18:31 Tue 04th Dec 2012 | ChatterBank
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50 Shades of Leeds

She left me tied to the chair, unable to move. Luckily there was rugby league on't telly.

The way she moved on holiday gave a whole new meaning to Leeds United away strip. She was dressed to the nines for me, like a chip shop goddess, snapping the clip on her suspenders. "Right then, love," she told me, "I'm off to bingo."

She looked back over her shoulder at me, her eyes full of sensual warmth. "Whippet," she said, "Whippet good." The dog whimpered. "By 'eck," she warned, "I'm going to make tha peas the mushiest ever, big lad."

He was dressed in a dark blue suit that was nothing less than Burton's best, the dog hair lovingly brushed from the material, with a C&A bri-nylon shirt and his Leeds Rhinos tie. His Hush Puppies had been cleaned, the brown suede crisp, the soles silent as he walked to meet her.

Later, at home, he hung up the jacket. "What's that?" she asked in surprise. "Belt...and braces" he whispered in her ear, knowing that she loved a man who looked after himself. She ran calloused fingertips between his shirt buttons, pressing herself close to him so he could take in the scent of salt and vinegar crisps.

"Oh luv," she said adoringly, feeling the juices run as she held his kebab tightly "you wore the string vest."



... to be continued (or, indeed, not)
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Ohhhh Dave! That is bloody brilliant! xxx
I laughed out loud at the whippet bit!
Brilliant!
'Twas the whippet that creased me Chill, but the image I got from the last sentence ...........!
LOL, like it dave.
that's triggs
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< we know you lust after his scratchings, fluff >
his spam fritters ackchooly
lots of laughs, dave, you join the stable of AB comedy writers!
lol @ the stable, i have an image of you lot knee deep in horse *** now :-)
Oh Dave you have just gone down in my estimations!!!
Dave, is your real name Rab C.?
wonderful!
Oh dave you have just gone up in my estimations!!!
Question Author
Oh well - before the plagiarism police arrive here too ... ;+)


... this is a (reasonably) well known internet meme that I have tweaked a bit. I may stir the creative juices and write part two myself though ...


< naughty dave >
more please Dave
Wonder how often Dave's heard that Dee? :-)

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