Travel0 min ago
My son has an 11yr old son of his own who he has been raising by himself for the last 8yrs. My grandson is a fine bright lad and up till now there hasn't been any real problems with him. He does well at school and seems a happy out going lad. However, it has come to light this week that he has been going into school as usual when his Dad drops him off, but is then leaving again and going into town with another boy who the school says has 'many issues'. The school phoned my son yesterday to inform him that his lad wasn't remaining in school after the register had been called which had been going on all this week and that he had paired up with another boy who they felt could be leading him into bad ways (or words to that effect). There has been a meeting at the school today between my son, my grandson and the head teacher to try and get to the bottom of what was going on, my grandson said that he likes this other boy because he is 'cool' and that he's missing school because "the work Im given isn't challenging enough which results in my losing focus" (his words). The head teacher felt that that particular problem could be easily sorted and he'll now be given more challenging work to do, (that'll teach him!). But my son is wondering how far he needs to go with regards to consequences, is it just a case of taking away his Laptop and x box for a week?, less,? more? My son who has a very close and loving relationship with his boy is feeling so disappointed in him, especially with regards to the fact that he has told lies to him. Does he need to come down on him like a ton of bricks to nip whatever in the bud, or is it not such a huge deal and he should make it clear how upset he is and then let it go?
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Hi Lizzy, given that he hasn't been in trouble before and that your son has a close relationship with him, showing how disappointed he is and a one weeks ban may be enough and seems fair (and I am really strict!!!) I would however be pointing out to him the consequences for him if the behaviour is repeated - i.e. a much harsher treatment not a repeat of the same punishment. Hopefully that will be enough. if he is being delivered to school and put into their care, surely at age 11, they should be keeping a better eye on where the children are to ensure their safety?
My daughter does tend to react more to me being disappointed than to being 'punished'. Maybe a long talk about trust and him being given more freedom in the coming years as long as his dad can trust him, but not if he does things like lie or not be where he should. If they are as close as you say this is more likely to get through to him than coming down like a ton of bricks - that will more likely cause resentment and rebellion.
hi annie sorry to say it doesn't work like that if your child goes to school and then comes out it's the parents that get in trouble ,they actually watched my child walk out of the school gates on a few occasions and 2 and a half hours later they phoned me only to tell me the other girl she had been with had gave verbal abuse to the truancy officer ,when i said i phoned them back after i had phoned my daughter who lied and told me she was in music that is when they told me no she was seen at 930 walking out of school it was now 12 ,