what age is ok?

[6758]

just wanted some opinions on what age is ok for a child to be left on their own.....

My son is 11 years old and walks home from school (10 min walk but takes him 20!!). He gets in about 3.30 and his dad is home about 3.45 therefor he is alone for 15 mins...

He is a really sensible child (more so than his 13 year old brother!!!) and says hes ok with the situation.. He is always sitting doing his homework when his dad gets in and I always ring him at 3.30 to make sure his in ok as i work full time.....

Wolud you critisize my parenting because of this arrangement?

[Psychick]

I think the legal age is 12 but if you know you can trust him and it isnt for very long. Is he home alone during this time? Does your 13 yr old not finish at the same time?

[6758]

Hi psychick... He is alone during this time as his brother gets bus home...

I know i can trust him but its just the thought of anything happening to him even if its something trivial...

I read on a link from someone on this site that 10 year olds are ok if left for a short time but just wanted some real peoples opinions.

[oldgrape]

i'd say that would be fine

[4getmenot]

I though legal age is 14. you may all say yer thats fine but if there was an accident in those 15 mins police would come down on you like a ton of bricks

[4getmenot]

and not having a go, you may be a great parent and treat your children better than some that are at home with 24/7 xx

[confused79]

My son is 11 and if i knew someone would be in wihtin 15 mins of him then i would let him go home, but at the mo he walks to the childminders where i then pick him up about 5:15 id he went home he would be alone for 2 hours and i wouldnt be happy with that.

But if its just the 15 mins then i woudl say its ok.
Just to keep your mind at rest do you not have any neighbours that maybe could just check on him for you?

[Ethel]

There is no legal age for leaving a child alone.

Excellent advice here:

http://www.nspcc.org.uk/HelpAndAdvice/Parentsa ndcarers/HomeAlone/homealone_wda35965.html

15 minutes is absolutely fine - I bet he's left alone longer when you're having a bath.

[6758]

This is the link where i found the 10 year old info...

http://www.capt.org.uk/FAQ/default.htm

Sorry... I dont know how to set it as a proper link!!!!

[6758]

Thanks all for your answers... I feel happy enough with the arrangement, the main reason being that he is happy and uses this time to prove how trustworthy he is by being sooo responsible (doing his homework without being asked 10 times)

A friend had told me that if you give a child a bit of responsibility when they are young they are better equiped to deal with the bigger responsibilities that come with adult life....

ps. I just realised the link thingy works automatically!!!!!!!!!

[netibiza]

Was just gonna post then I saw Ethel's posting which is excellent and explains it all.

[Neilzulu1]

I also agree with Ethel, (6758) You sound like a sensible parent.

[aims1202]

I am quite surprised that there are so many people who think 11 is too young to stay at home alone. From the age of 9 yrs i walked home from school (30 mins) then was on my own until about 5.30 when my older brother got home, then mum was back about 6.30 on most days. We were absolutely fine! I was babysitting for friends and relatives kids at 13 yrs.
I think its important for children to learn independence and by leaving them alone sometimes you are saying to them that you think they are responsible and they are therefore more likely to be responsible as they get older.

[EngTeach]

This is a hot topic among my friends with children. One let her 10 year old mind the 6 year old for about 2 hours each day after school. Grandpa lived downstairs, but was bedridden and ill. I felt this was a bad arrangement. But, i am not a parent so i shut up. (The children refused to go to after school care!!!!!)

Another friend still has her 14 year old picked up from school as she does not want her walking the 10 blocks alone each day. This year the 14 yr old then gets dropped home and watches her 10 year old twin sisters. Last school year she went to a sitter and the sibs stayed at after-care.

I think parents have to do what's right for their children and not what suits their needs.

[taperface]

Absolutely! You're breaking the law leaving a child of that age on his own, and talking of giving him some responsibility seems IRresponsible to me. For goodness' sake - he's still a child. ANYTHING could happen to him during that time - he could choke on a peanut in that 15 minutes. I just wonder why you can't be there for him.

[fasttimes1]

no taperface, there is no law being broken here.

"The NSPCC have issued guidelines advising that children under the age of 13 should not be left alone. WHILE THIS IS NOT LAW, it is suggested as good practice.

As a young person reaches adolescence, leaving them alone after school, for an evening or during the day is less worrying as long as they are prepared and know what to do if they are worried or need anything. So preparation for this is vital . If your child is 13 and over and you feel he or she has the maturity and ability to deal with this, it is important that they know where you are and who to contact in an emergency. Clearly, not all children 13 and over are ready to be left alone.

Make careful considerations about your childs wishes and feelings as well as their ability to be alone."

[taperface]

Fasttimes - I defer. You're right about not breaking the law - and I apologise. I was quoting a friend who does child minding, who believed there was a legal age of when a child can be left totally alone. I stand by the rest of my answer though. No matter how mature a child may seem, all sorts of things could go wrong for an 11 year old. To answer the original poster - you carry on and do as you think fit, but I would never leave mine.

[delta733]

an adult alone in the house could choke also!!! wot a silly answer. that could happen to a child when ur putin the washin out. for that matter in 15 mins anythin could happen to anyone even if u r in the house ur child could fall down the stairs n break their neck! I think 15 mins at that age is fine it also builds independence n its better thatn roaming the streets for 15 mins. christ my grandparents were working at that age!

[WBA]

Dont listen to Taperface,what a stupid comment,You do what you thinks best(6758) you know whats best and you know your sons sensible.

[briar-rose]

hey delta - ha ha ha - does it take you 15 minutes to put your washing out??!!!!

[saxy_jag]

I have no problems with that arrangement at all, 6758. However, if you're really concerned, could you not make an arrangement with a neighbour so that your son can go to them in an emergency if you or his brother aren't around.