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My Mum Got Angry With Me Because I Bought A Garden Hose

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Treacle71 | 21:18 Sat 31st May 2025 | Family & Relationships
9 Answers

I use those empty 4 pint milk cartons, wash them out, and fill them with water to water the plants in the garden and keep them stocked up outside. I use about 10 of them in one go. However, lately, the weight of them is causing my back to hurt as well as my elbow and shoulder, so I decided to spend £50 on a garden hose with the mixer tap connector. My mum went crazy. She said, "Why on earth spend £50 on a hose where you hate living"? I said, "Well, if I ever get the chance to get out of here I can take it with me". And on and on she went.
I have to look after my joints at the end of the day. She can't look after the plants as her back is really bad.
Why do I keep messing up? Surely I've done no wrong? 😭 I just don't know. 

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You wanted a hose  you got a hose. That's what people do. Stop beating yourself up over someone else's opinion.
21:45 Sat 31st May 2025

You don't keep 'messing up' but you do keep taking notice of the badmouthing and guilt-tripping and all the other nonsense that your mother dishes out on a regular basis. There's no reason why this shouldn't now be water off a duck's back - but if you don''t want to change (ie change how you react) you'll have to just keep on putting up with it.

You wanted a hose  you got a hose. That's what people do. Stop beating yourself up over someone else's opinion.

She won't change - like it or lump it.

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Thank you all xx

Treacle, thanks - but do you think your attitude will ever change? i feel as if weeks and months are going bye, Abers tell you to ignore your mum's nasty or barbed comments and you say 'thanks' - and then up pops another piece of her nonsense, another piece that you let irritate you!

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I just don't know how to cope 🤷

Treacle, you've had loads of advice about how to cope, how to handle (and how to ignore!) your mother, but I think you must feel unable to actually take it.  The only one who can change your attitude is you, you must know that.

It's your money, you earn it, do what you want with it, it's nothing to do with her.

Make sure  your connector is fitted very very tightly  to your  mixer tap and not too much water power. Otherwise it could  spirt water or even blow off, you'd  never hear the  end of it if you soaked the  kitchen. More expense  but an outside tap would  be much safer. 

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