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Please Give Advice Or Help On My Relationship Problem. Long Story But Please Read?

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vern1996 | 03:57 Thu 04th Aug 2022 | Family & Relationships
9 Answers
I met a girl in April 2018 and have been with her ever since except a 4 month gap in 2020/21 when we broke up. I didn't feel a vibe when we first met but gradually over a couple months I started to like her, then fell in love with her.

In December 2018 I went on a christmas night out, and there I started talking to a girl I went to school with, although had never actually spoken to. I'd always thought she was very good looking at school but didn't really know her. I wasn't talking to her alone, it was part of a group, and we were both in relationships at the time and genuinely respectful, although we did get on very well, make each other laugh a lot, the group of us played truth or dare (we were drunk and silly!) and she was asked who the best looking person was in the bar, and she chose me, and we really hit it off, it was weird and hard for me because it's the first time I've ever felt an INSTANT spark with someone, and it was also the first time I've ever been in a relationship and found myself attracted to someone else. We left that night, obviously didn't do anything as we were both in couples, and I tried to forget about her.

Mine and my girlfriend's feelings of love grew stronger, but deep in the back of my mind I still remembered this night. Fast forward to 2020, my girlfriend and I went through a rough patch and broke up. About a month later I found out from friends of friends that this girl was now also single, so I asked her on a date, but was rejected because she'd just started seeing someone else new. I of course understood, and forced her to the back of my mind again. 4 months on, me and my girlfriend then reconciled, and have been together ever since. I love her dearly, we have an amazing time together, make each other laugh, share the same friends and I could happily live a life with her. The one thing I can't get over however, is deep in the back of my mind is this girl who I had the most intense spark with I've ever experienced, I can't describe it, that one night my mind kind of turned to mush, you know when people say 'soulmates' and 'when you know you know'? It almost felt like that.

In April 2022 I moved to New Zealand from England for a year. My girlfriend has booked to follow me out in September, and we'll both be here until April 2023. This girl, coincidentally, is English to New Zealand parents. I found out last week that she's single again, and she followed me the other day on Instagram and liked 2 of my posts. She was already somewhat on my mind and I've now DREAMT ABOUT HER 3 NIGHTS IN A ROW!!

My question is basically - what should I do?! I feel like I can't hide my feelings for this girl. Maybe it could be something really special? Maybe we are 'destined' to be together? Surely it also means she's been thinking of me if she followed me out of nowhere when single and liked my photos, when we haven't seen each other since that night in 2018? But then I have this perfect girlfriend moving across the world for me, who I genuinely love, I can't say a bad word about her, but for some reason this other girl just will not leave my mind?! And what if I take some wild plunge, break my girlfriend's heart to be with someone else, and then it turns out she was never interested anyway?! I'm so stressed about this whole situation and don't know what to do.
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Life’s too short.
After reading the first 5,000 words, my eyes glazed over and I thought no publisher is going to accept this as a plot synopsis.
if you have feelings for someone else it's better to tell your girlfriend now, before she makes the move to New Zealand. It wouldn't be fair on her at all if she moves then you have a change of heart.
I swear most of the teenagers outside the UK have somehow got hold of the idea that AB is some sort of pitching site for TV soap script ideas.
i don't think the OP is a schoolboy, but a man in need of some help/
Faint heart never won fair lady.

Or the lottery.
The thrill of someone finding you attractive (especially when you find them attractive) is intoxicating but, beware, someone WILL get hurt. You need to decide whether that will be you now, or you and one of the women some time in the future.
You haven't mentioned sex, just that emotion that one calls "love."
Who is better in bed..sex..?

My advice is to keep them both on your books and extract the love out of one and mix it with sex out of the other.
Zacs is correct in his post, someone might get hurt......but on the other hand you may well get away with it.
Being hurt is a manifestation of life.....it will happen in differing situations for different reasons and that is for sure.

My advice: play them together whilst it lasts.
So, it's a case of a genuine love versus a "spark".

No contest.

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