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I Can't Give My Mum Grandchildren

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Treacle71 | 19:32 Mon 23rd May 2022 | Family & Relationships
17 Answers
I'm 51 and not married. It never happened, plus I'm a committed Christian and always 'waited' for that special someone. Well, they never showed up! I have accepted this now, but my mum never lets go of the fact she'll never be a grandmum. Next door to us has 4 little children and the other side to us she is expecting! She drums this into me everyday. I can't even watch a TV programme with her where it has grandchildren in it. I get "look how happy she is with her grandchildren" and my mum will forever make these digs. I can't make her happy and yes of course I am disappointed life hasn't turned out the way it should have been. What do I do? I tell her to back off, but she still goes on. She'll say, "You need counseling" or, "Why can't you be like everyone else and normal"?

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I think it’s your Mum who needs the counselling. Whatever does she think she’s doing? Her treatment of you is completely out of order and she needs to stop right now and learn to accept life as it is. In the same way as you have to accept that you have no siblings, she must accept that she has no grandchildren.
19:56 Mon 23rd May 2022
Are you an only child?? No siblings to procreate?
Tell her it’s none of her business or that there would be no guarantee of children even if you were married
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Yes, I'm an only child.
Sorry but it sounds to me like she is being very selfish.
Helen is right. Ask her why didn't she have more kids to guarantee getting grandkids.
"and yes of course I am disappointed life hasn't turned out the way it should have been" For you or for her? It's your life, not her's
With women like your mother you need to be blunt and almost hard
//With women like your mother you need to be blunt and almost hard//

Indeed you do. Tell her to back off or she may be seeing less of you. Could be worse. You could be in India:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-61424869
^ or in England not that long ago
I think it’s your Mum who needs the counselling.

Whatever does she think she’s doing? Her treatment of you is completely out of order and she needs to stop right now and learn to accept life as it is. In the same way as you have to accept that you have no siblings, she must accept that she has no grandchildren.
You’ll have to do what my cousin,also 51, says to her dad when he wistfully mentions how nice it would be to have grandkids.

“That ship has sailed.”
Hang about, I thought the stork brought them, not the Merchant Navy.
'Mum' is going O.T.T., but she is very obviously hurt. My sister is in the same boat and although she never says anything, she feels, very deeply, the lack of a grandchild. She makes do with mine.
You never thought of adopting or fostering? You can sponsor a child overseas which could east the situation.
If you want can you enquire if your local social service dept has any scheme for foster grandparents
Your Mum sounds very selfish. Next time she goes on at you tell her theres no point as its too late and nothing she can say can change it.

As Sharon says, bounce it back at her and say that you would haved loved a sibling so why didnt she have more children?
Move house.
Definitely move out. Visit and call on a regular basis. Leave or end call if the subject is brought up.

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