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Friends Don't Like My Boyfriend And I'm Not Sure What To Do

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Anxiousdolphin | 21:19 Wed 02nd Mar 2022 | Family & Relationships
4 Answers
I am a (28f) happy relationship with my boyfriend (28m) for 2.5 years now. As a person with some anxiety and an anxious attachment style it is amazing that I now feel secure, supported, loved, respected, and happy, and want to start a life with my partner. Unfortunately about a year into the relationship my boyfriend blacked out at a bar, made out with someone, and when he came home and told me, said some hurtful things. The next day he took full responsibility and blame, apologized profusely, and since then has done a ton of work on himself to work through issues he has as well as be the partner I need/want him to be. He's really done a 180 from that night and has been consistent. At the time I shared the info with my Uni friends I have known for about 10 years (29f, 29f, 30f) as I had never been in a situation like that before and needed some support. They understandably did not like him after that but have been sporadically supportive in a 'how are you and BF? Oh that's good to hear" way. Due to Covid and living across the country, I have not seen any of my friends in person but will be this weekend.
I am unsure of what to do as he added them all as friends on instagram and they accepted him but did not follow him back. I completely understand how absurd this may seem however it is out of character and they followed him previously (he had deleted his instagram following the infidelity) and follow 1-2k+ accounts each. Admittedly I am an anxious person but the seemingly intentional 'not follow back' feels unsupportive (of me), rude, and intentional. My boyfriend understands why I am upset and is ok that they didn't follow back. Normally, I would leave it be but I am going to a bachelorette party with all of them this weekend and am also invited to one of their 30th birthday celebrations in April so I will be seeing them quite a bit in person. Notably, my partner did not receive an invite to the birthday party and after further thought I think this may have been intentional. The birthday girl (29f) is married and I think it's unlikely that her husband and everyone else's partners are not invited. I honestly don't know what to do and appreciate any advice. On one hand I want to stand up for myself and directly ask if they are intentionally not following him and if he is the only partner not invited to the 30th Birthday celebration. On the other hand, the mere thought of doing that is a bit anxiety inducing and seems humiliating for me. I love my friends but feel really hurt and confused. None of us are perfect and to be honest, things could have been way worse and my boyfriend and I have worked through and past the issue individually and as a couple. Do you think I should bring it up or leave the situation alone? How would you address this?

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Did you mention how long ago the incident was ?

Think I'd be tempted to just see how things go. The old friends may just want to chat to you alone.
Would you expect male partners to be invited to a hen(bachelorette) party?
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The poster was talking about the 30th birthday party of a married friend to which she reckons all the other husbands/partners have been invited.

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Friends Don't Like My Boyfriend And I'm Not Sure What To Do

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