What Is Wrong With This Person?

[Jack8991]

Where to start....basically they can start an argument with their husband (regularly) from out of nowhere, then be very verbally nasty and aggressive in the argument, then later on, start crying and making out as they’re the victim and being abused. It’s like they genuinely believe that they are the victim. Also, they just have strange ways about them, for example, they have tea at roughly 7pm and it takes them until turned 10pm to finish the dishes and wipe round, just scrubbing at everything. She also has an obsession with germs and is always detox wiping everything (I understand to a point because of Covid but it’s still OTT). Back in 2014, she saw three ants on the kitchen floor and from that moment up until about 2019 she refused to cook in the kitchen and just ate out every night. Just a wide range of odd behaviours like this. If you was to meet her you would think she was a completely normal educated person, but behind closed doors behaves like this. It can’t be normal in my opinion. Thanks

[Mamyalynne]

It would be hugely beneficial to your Father were your Mother to get help, which is what most of us have suggested.

If you simply want us to label her nasty and say unkind things then you've come to the wrong site.

[jackthehat]

I think you might have just proven my point.....

[Mamyalynne]

Showing your true colours now Jack - careful.

[Jack8991]

Mamy- well he is let’s be honest. I’m explaining how my mum is being verbally abusive to my dad and yet he’s saying I’m the bad guy...yeah because that makes sense doesn’t it

[Mamyalynne]

You are behaving like a stroppy teen on this thread Jack and JTH like otgers has done her best to advise.

You are very stubborn.

[Mamyalynne]

* others

[jackthehat]

I didn't say you were the bad guy (not to start with, anyway) but you are intent on laying all the blame on your mother's shoulders whilst absolving yourself, your dad and your maternal grandparents of all responsibility.
Just how do you think your Mum ought to be in the frame of mind to go and get help with all of the above arrayed against her?

[Jack8991]

Mamy- no I came on to ask for possible reasons as to why my mum verbally abuses my dad and then most of you are defending her for it, I really don’t understand why?

[Jack8991]

But if it was a man being verbally abusive to a woman...oh no, nobody would be saying he needs to seek help, everyone would be saying he’s evil and needs to go to jail, but when a woman does it, people say she must be in distress about something and that’s why she is doing it and we should sympathise with her

[Mamyalynne]

As I stated earlier, we are not qualified to explain why - she and you as a family need professional help.

[jackthehat]

We don't deal in hypotheticals like that.

You haven't complained that you dad is being abusive (and no-one would suggest that he went to prison, if you did); and you don't want to accept that your Mum seems deeply unhappy/distressed which is based on the information you *have* provided.

[Jack8991]

Jack- but why does she need to be distressed to be nasty to her husband? She is a housewife, nothing really to be distressed about. Even so, why is that an excuse to be horrible to my dad for years?

[jackthehat]

Just a housewife.....????

Give me strength....

I don't know why she behaves like she does although I think we can all hazard pretty good reasons.
Also, I don't think you really want an answer, you just wanted an opportunity to whinge.

[tiggerblue10]

She has nothing to be distressed about....and you know this just because she is a housewife? Seriously?

She maybe going through depression or other mental health issue. It doesn't matter who you are anyone can suffer with mental health problems.

[Jack8991]

I came on here to ask if anyone had any ideas as to what mental health problem it could be. I don’t care what any of you say...if my dad was doing this to my mum, all of you would be condemning him, but as per usual, people think women are sugar and spice and all things nice

[Mamyalynne]

You know what we'd think or say in response to something you haven't asked?

That's impressive but incorrect.

Hope your Parents get sorted out.

[jackthehat]

///....but she’s been like this for many years. My grandparents say that she used to spend 3-4 hours washing my bottles as a baby. The health worker at the time was saying it is abnormal to do that.///

This sets alarm bells ringing for me; I wouldn't be surprised if your Mum had/has undiagnosed PND.
Did your Dad help out much when you were a baby?

[Jack8991]

Mamy- of course people would, as everyone would always be quick to defend a woman being verbally abused, but when it happens to a man people think that the woman must have a good reason for doing it

[cashier]

If you don't care what anybody says why bother posting in the first place? People haven't said what you wanted them to? Just attention seeking as usual? You have not once said 'my mum' just this person or her.

[Jack8991]

Jack the lad - my dad has always been a good provider. He walks in from work and she’s waiting on the doorstep barking her orders