Is It Wrong To Want A Picture Of My Son, His Dad And Me?

[driftmom63]

I’m a never married mom of an adult son. His dad is married with two other adult children. No animosity, there was just never an opportunity to have a photo of the 3 of us together. I would like one and I would like my son to have one. Even though we didn’t live under the same roof, we are family.

[andy-hughes]

No it's not wrong - did you think anyone would think it was?

And if they did, why should you care what strangers think?

[barry1010]

That is an entirely natural and understandable desire, driftmom. Does your son's dad family and wife know about your son? If not, it is perfectly understandable why he would refuse to take part.

[Baldric]

Sounds perfectly OK to me, not a problem if it's as straight forward as you say it is.

[Mamyalynne]

Seems perfectly reasonable unless one of the participants thinks differently.

[jourdain2]

I don't see a problem, assuming his dad acknowledges him and his other family is aware. It is a perfectly reasonable desire.

[New Judge]

It's not wrong - it's just strikes me as odd.

I've never understood why people want pictures of other people whom they know.

[pastafreak]

She wants a photo of the 3 of them together...what's odd about that?

[jno]

no, perfectly natural. Is anyone objecting?

[Mamyalynne]

Unashamedly copied fro another website.

//Photos, like memories and stories, are part of our legacy. We hold them close, we pass them down. It’s a gift to be able to share a visual of moments, details, people, places and things to those we love, so that they, too, can feel even a glimmer of the joy we feel when we reflect on those times.

Family photos connect us to those who came before. By letting your kids see your photos from the past and the present, they become connected to their own story. They know the family members and ancestors who came before them and helped shape the world and person they see today.

Because as time moves on, it is the memories of loved ones we will cherish documenting the most. Family photos can manifest emotions that words cannot.//

Sums it up for me.

[barry1010]

I think the son's dad is objecting. He has another family

[Mamyalynne]

Oh?

It would have been good to have been told that if so.

[jno]

she says there's no animosity.

[New Judge]

//I think the son's dad is objecting. He has another family//

Ah, the old story. Bloke gets bored with his original family and wants to "start again" with somebody else. The mother of his children gets twenty quid a week to feed, clothe and house them (whilst taking care of their every need such as getting them to school when they don't want to go and nursing them through the night when they are ill). Meanwhile the bloke has the rest of his income as pocket money to lavish on his "new" family.

[Gromit2]

It depends on if the two families are aware of each other, and the local community know.
It could be embarrassing for the children of the married mother to see a photo of their dad on facebook with another family.
As you have used the word ‘Mom‘ I suspect you are American, and a less religious nation like the UK (where this site is based) might give a different take on the out of wedlock child, than a USA audience.

[barry1010]

Could be in the USA but we Brummies use 'mom', too.

I think you've got the wrong scenario, NJ. Married man with children has fling which results in mistress getting pregnant and having a baby. Man stays with wife who may not know about fling and third child.

Mistress miffed because married man refuses to be photographed with mistress and their child. Married man terrified wife will see proof of his extra marital activities.

If that scenario is correct, driftmom, your family is you and your son. Your son's father has a family with his wife and children - he is just the sperm donor for you as far as he is concerned.

[Old_Geezer]

One is entitled to want whatever one wants to want.
Getting what one wants doesn't always happen though. Life's like that.

[Hopkirk]

I an imagine the man's wife not being happy about him appearing in a 'family' photo, and him not wanting to create a problem doing it.

[driftmom63]

I became pregnant when I lived with my son's dad. Things did not work out between us and I moved on. He hadn't met his now-wife yet, but she was aware of the situation very early on. There was regular visitation, child support, nothing out of the ordinary; as I mentioned, no animosity with anyone involved. My son is about to become a dad now and pictures will abound. It occurred to me that he doesn't have a picture with his parents, his dad and me, because it just never came up. The question might seem very simplistic and trivial, perhaps even stupid to some, but I am now 56 years old, his dad just turned 60, we aren't getting any younger, so it is important to me. I very much appreciate everyone's input.

[Bobbisox1]

Could you get single photos of all three of you made into a group photo by someone who can do this with a programme such as photoshop ?

[Mamyalynne]

I revert to my original answer then. if all parties are happy then have the photo done - it's a nice thing to do.