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My Ex Is Turning My Life Upside Down..

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EllieJP | 17:10 Sat 01st Sep 2018 | Family
34 Answers
It’s been 8 years since this guy (who I’d been with for 3 years) Cheated on me with a girl he’s now married to.. We got together again as we tried to remain friends but just ended up sleeping together.. So we stopped but he actually told this girl and wound up proposing to her in the same conversation.. That was the last I heard from him until about a month ago..
Or so I thought.. Turns out he’s messaged me quite a few times I just somehow never saw them.. Well we started chatting.. a lot! And he was being flirty and we talked about the places we use to go together etc and he suggested we should go again.. So we did, and quickly fell into bed again! And I’ve just found out the night we saw each other was actually his 4th wedding anniversary! And his wife is also heavily pregnant.. So I feel a bit ***.. I wanna know what’s going through his head? Does he still have feelings for me? Or is he just bored...?

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You know what the answer is, perhaps his wife is off sex because of her condition and he knew you'd come running. Walk away you know this will only end badly. Find someone who you can love who will live you in return.
I question..."What's going through your head." ?

Hans.
I'm afraid he now sees you as 'on call' - don't be.
whats going on in his head
what's going on in YOUR head ?

rather obviously he sees you as an easy lay
Send him packing. Put yourself in his wife's place, would you like to be her with a husband cheating on an old girlfriend???
Not a big deal.......you both enjoy the sex, so why question it?
This sort of relationship can be VERY successful but on the other hand it could end up in tears.
Would it be worth the tears......only time will tell?
It's a very big deal for his pregnant wife but you know that sqaddie
Prudie....only if they are found out.
As far as we know, the pregnant wife remains innocent of the affair.
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I know I should be questioning what’s going on in my own head.. but I know I wouldn’t want him back after all.. a leopard never changes their spots! I’d expect him to do the same again.. and as for putting myself in his wives shoes.. she knew all about me when they started their affair.. So I don’t care as much as I should! We had a lot of fun socially.. that’s what I miss.. and the sex was good too!
It's your decision to make whatever our comments are.
Prudie....what difference doe it make whether the "innocent " wife is pregnant or not? The adjective just adds to the emotional post and you women love it.
Ellie...don't beat yourself up, your situation is not unique as it happens all the time worldwide.
Because she's about to bring their baby into the world. Sort of increases the chances of that baby starting life with a single parent or enduring a parents' divorce. Not the best start in life.
He cheated on you with the woman who is now his wife. He chose her to marry not you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but its time to move on and find someone who will love you as much as you love them. Regardless on the fact he cheated on you to go off with his now wife, she is his wife and you should respect the fact that they have chosen to start a family and leave the marriage alone.
What's going through his head?

"I get no-strings sex whenever I feel like it, and then I can go back and play happy families with my wife and soon, or baby."


You know what this man is - you just have to decide if the sex is worth knowing he is cheating on his family, and the potential outcome for an innocent wife and baby.


If you can live with that, fine, but your message suggests that you can't.

Walk away, before you become party to hurting innocent people.
walk away NOW..or spend the next how many years as being used for his convenience..do you want to be a dirty little secret or do you want to find a loving meaningful relationship with someone ? aint going to happen with this selfish cheating individual is it ? up to you and how much you respect and value your own worth ! know what I'd do...
not sure why you continue to sleep with him, he is obviously an opportunist, I doubt he has feelings for you, if he did he wouldn't have cheated on you in the beginning. He has made the other woman his wife, as you can't say no he will continue to use you for sex, if you say no, he will move on to someone else.
Prudie....
" Sort of increases the chances of that baby starting life with a single parent or enduring a parents' divorce. Not the best start in life."

I disagree....children now are accustomed to having one one parent....it is fastly becoming the rule rather than the exception....just under 50% of marriages end in divorce and that doesn't account for "split ups" that are not married.
I feel that the effect of a "slit up" on children is over emphasised and the deleterious effects over-stated.
Also you have to consider that you might not be the only casual sex partner he has.
You'll make your own mind up no matter what replies you get. I'm still struggling with the idea you just "somehow" never saw his numerous texts?

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