Bed Room Scenario!

[potty64]

I wonder what other Answerbank 'readers' think about this. My divorced sister who is 70 years old lives with myself & my husband. Her man friend occasionally stays the night with her and that's where the problem is. My husband and my two children (both who are married and live elsewhere) disapprove. It doesn't bother me but I don't like the disapproval from my family. Any opinions out there?

[bednobs]

what exactly do you disaprove of? Him or the fact they share a bed?

[MallyJ]

What on earth has it got to do with your adult children? If your sister pays some sort of rent or part owns the house you all live in then she has the right to treat it as she would her home.... which it is after all. Good on her say I ...perhaps there is a touch of jealousy going on here..??!!

[ummmm]

Tell them to mind their own business (except your husband, he's allowed an opinion)

[Samuraisan]

Goodness me, miaow, miaow. Let her enjoy herself while she still can. Why make something that can potentially damage your relationship, out of a bit of fun for her.

[Tilly2]

Have you asked your husband why he disapproves?

[Maydup]

Do you think they object because its going on under your roof, because they are not married, or because she should be celibate by 70? Or some other old fashioned reason?

[boxtops]

I would only be concerned about your husband disapproving, it's nothing to do with your children. Why is your husband against it? If your sister lives with you (and her age is immaterial) you must have had some discussion before she moved in about whether she can entertain and bring her own guests home. if it's her home, she can do what she likes in her own bedroom. Good for her!

[potty64]

Hi Bednobs, I think you've misunderstood what I said. I don't disapprove, my family do. Maybe it's becos the man has his own rented property and he says it's it's terribly untidy and consequently hasn't invited her around there. I tend to agree with Mallyj. My sister pays rent and can do what she likes in the privacy of her own room but I do wish he would invite her to his place - even if it's only to tidy it up!?!?

[boxtops]

why should he? It's his place, he can live how he likes. If someone came here and started tidying it up, I'd poke them in the eye.

[Hopkirk]

I can see where the irritation comes from for your husband - if the man has his own place why is he sleeping at yours?

He's just too lazy to tidy his own place up.

[boxtops]

Perhaps he likes his lady friend's bedroom better than his. Perhaps she likes her bedroom better than his. Nobody's asking why they do it, only why potty's husband objects so much.

[potty64]

Hi hopkirk, Yes, it's just irritating re the fact he hasn't had time in five months to tidy his place up and invite his sweetheart there where there would also be more privacy!

[boxtops]

Perhaps there is more to it than that. Perhaps he's a hoarder or actually likes being untidy (like I do). It might not be just lazy, it might be a problem for him.

[mazie]

Has she ever been round to his place potty?

[potty64]

Hi mazie, Only to the back door! They've bought bed linen for his double bed but she hasn't been in the house - yet! SPOOKY!

[boxtops]

I don't think it's spooky. I think it's rather sad. If you have lived on your own for a while and the house has got messy, you just don't know where to start to get it back in order. I speak from experience.

[Hopkirk]

She should give him an ultimatum

[chrissa1]

If it were different men every week or so, then they might have a point.

The fact that he has a,so-called,untidy house and prefers to stay in your's from time to time, shouldn't be a bother for your family.

[boxtops]

I agree with chrissa. Your sister lives in your house, your sister has a boyfriend who stays over. It's not a problem, IMO.

[mazie]

Mmmm. If they are close and sharing a bed I would think he would trust your Sis enough to invite her to his..... even if it is a bit messy.