How often should you see your children when..........

[missprim]

you separate from your partner?
Rather not say who I'm asking on behalf of but at the moment it's not going down the route of divorce, courts etc.
The child in question is 5yrs old.

[bednobs]

there is no "should" about it - whatever 1) the parents negotiate and 2)timing/work/school allow

[Meg888]

As often as poss I'd say. I split with my daughter's dad when she was 5, and he see's her for overnight stays 3 times a week. It's important for the child also, and it's vital that it's consistent - nothing worse than a parent using the child/ren as a weapon, it distresses the children more.

[Smowball]

Assuming you are asking from the angle of the parent that doesnt have the children living with them, it depends on how far away you live from them, and whether the parents actually get on and can agree on how often

[chelle7272]

As often as possible but would really need more info.

Every other weekend and share holidays and if possible have at least one day a week where the non resident parent picks them up from school, or has them for tea or overnight.

Of course it depends on the commitments of the parents too, and being able to work around any special occasions not falling on 'their' time.

[cazzz1975]

at least once a week, taking into account work/school commitments.

[missprim]

At the moment it's as chelle says, every other week-end and during school holidays.
I suppose the male in question must have agreed to this but I wonder how it would affect a child going from seeing your Dad everyday to every 14days.

[chelle7272]

That's why I would suggest seeing them during the week as well if possible. Not nice for the kids or parents having such a big change.

[cazzz1975]

its not ideal but any contact is better than non, I know a few people in this situation, unfortunately what started out amicably has ended up bitter with one parent turning the child against the other, also other factors like new relationships and the parent insisting that the child call their new partner "mummy or daddy" also adds to the confusions.

[missprim]

Thank you for your replies.

[bednobs]

if it's every other weekend isn't that 10 days?

[whiskeysheri]

When my mum and dad divorced, he had us all every Wednesday night and every other weekend. Holidays were split.

[rowanwitch]

I think reliability is more important so the child doesn't have expectations raised and dashed and can get into a routine too. couldn't think of worse than repeatedly being told you are going to daddy for the weekend and then Daddy has to work/play golf/see a home match or whatever. gives the message the child isn't really wanted

[Smowball]

There is always telephone contact which could be done every day

[Sqad]

I didn't know that there was a specific frequency that one should see one's children.

One presupposes that both partners WANT to see their children......it is often the case that one partner isn't bothered whether he/she sees the children at all.

This is the sort of thread that has no answer, but many opinions as this type of problem is personal.

[Smowball]

Couldnt agree more Sqad