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Lindylou | 19:14 Wed 26th Sep 2007 | Parenting
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I've been watching the news this evening regarding 'smacking' your children. What do you think about this? For myself, I've always felt a good slap (not a battering) immediately after the 'event' is a sensible reaction. Reinforces what is acceptable and what is not. I have three children - all grown up now - and they all had a slap when they deserved it. Guess what? They are all lovely kids, doing EXTREMELY well for themselves, not a tattoo or a piercing amongst them AND they love their mum and dad. Don't think I went far wrong.


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How on earth did parents control their children 20 years ago when the "naughty" step or a loss of priveledges didnt exist?

I wonder why we have so many unruly teenagers with no respect of anything.
Well my parents and grandparents grew up just fine and good people and they remember having a good hiding for things, so I'm not saying it is wrong to smack, but it didn't work for my son, he ended up copying me and smacking his friends!

things is times are changing and techniques change on parenting. doesn't mean the 'old times' are the best methods, neither is new methods - just personal choice!
Well it's amazing we ever had any crime at all with all these people handing out beatings for children in the old days.

I can only assume that either Kray twins were brought up by a bunch of pinko Guardian reading lefties!

Or that perhaps the "I had XY&Z" and turned out fine argument is a load of ill thought out twaddle!
Exactly Jake, it proves beyond compare that smacking is not the issue for badly well turned out kids. Its the whole package. Unless a mental disorder is at fault, it is how you treat your children that deems how they are turned out. I count to 5 and the kids have until then to stop doing what they are doing, I employed this with my eldest when he was 3 and my youngest has learned by example. I have never had to do anything after I have got to 5 because they have always stopped.

Don't get me wrong, my youngest who is 2 runs me ragged but there are certain words he never disobeys and its not the No word, which I believe becomes voids to them because they hear it so much. Stop! and Wait! work fine for me.

Toddlers wont remember why they got a smack, they'll just remember getting smacked. My aunt used to smack her youngest and he was a monster. He just hit back and shouted back. She learned the hard way that taking things he liked away from him was the only way forward.

Rev with a toddler you can place them on a mat because they wont stay there but you can put them in a safe place (reflection area) for a couple of minutes. It works. Im such a goody, goody I don't even like the word naughty chair or mat etc, I prefer time out lol

I wouldnt hit a pet or a person, why should we hit our most cherished people.

At last some sense! I totally agree with everything you have said Goodsoulette, particularly about it being the 'whole package' thats important. As for privileges not being taken away 20 yrs ago, I clearly remember not being allowed out to play or not being able to watch favourite programmes on telly (like Popeye or The Flintstones) and that was well over 40 yrs ago! and whats the difference between the naughty step and being sent to your room? just different terms for the same thing.
I'm not entirely sure it actually proves anything any more than any attempt to generalise from a personal experience ever does.

But this shouldn't be allowed to turn into a functional argument about whether or not it works.

It's an ethical issue.

I don't hit women

I don't hit children

It's no different if it's my wife

it's no different if it's my child
My dad used to beat me with a belt. All it tought me was that my father was a bully who ruled by fear, and that I hated his guts at the time.

I now have two young boys, and I find the naughty step, and removing their privellages for a while seems to be the most effective punishment for when they are naughty. I am ashamed to admit that on a couple of occasions I have resorted to smacking, but as already mentioned by others, it just teaches kids that it is ok to hit out when you are angry.
I was belted very often as a child. I would not dream of repeating that pain and humiliation, parents who smack are doing it out of lack of control and sheer laziness. It takes a lot more effort to calmly explain to a child what they are doing wrong than it does to lash out. Mind you, I have tattoos and piercings so I am obviously a sub-standard member of society?

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