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horselady | 23:18 Sat 26th Aug 2006 | Parenting
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my 2 year old grandson is pageboy next week at my son's wedding (his uncle). So far we've tried his pageboy suit on twice and each time he's screamed the place down, saying "I don't want it" over and over again. My son and his wife-to-be insist they won't mind at all if he plays up on the day, but playing up in a cute way is one thing, screaming blue murder and rolling on the floor is another. Can't quite remember how I used to reason with a 2 year old! Any tips please!
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There aren't any pins left in the suit are there that are sticking in him?!

I'd just keep on trying, also try and calmly ask him why he doesn't want it, bribe him with toys or some other treat if need be but if he really doesn't want it then I think it may be a more peaceful wedding if he just wears what he wants to (my friend went through similar and just gave in at the end and her little one wore his spiderman tracksuit with pride)

Good luck with him and I wish your son and his wife to be a long happy marriage!
Tried bribery?
Put this on and you can have some sweets?
Keep it on and you can have more sweets?

It will either work, or he'll throw up....worth a try though!
find a simple tuxedo t-shirt (yes they look fake, but in a cute way), and black pants of some kind for him to get into the morning of, then when you try to get him to wear the suit, if he fights, his alternative outfit won't be so bad, and remember, it won't be what he's wearing that will be remembered, it would be the screaming and fighting, so don't push it, and have a great wedding (don't fight a two-year old, the wedding is for the bride and groom not him)
Sorry to disagree, and I am not being deliberately obtuse, but perhaps he just hates the outift, and who can blame him. In years to come he will look at oictures of himself in a stupid outfit and hate you for making him wear it. If he doesn't want to be a pageboy don't make him.
Get the groom and anyone else who happens to be wearing a suit on the day. and have a mini dress rehersal. just let your grandson know whats happening, but dont try and make him join in. make everyone look like they are having imense fun putting on the suits!! just leave your grandsons suit next to him

the idea is he will want to join in! he may try and put on the suit, which is when you or his uncle step in for a little bit of sublte help!!

hope it works, if not, sweets.

xx
Question Author
Thanks everyone, some useful tips there, clairy-s we do intend to do a dress rehearsal because his suit is a miniature of the one the groom, best man and the two dads are wearing so he may feel as if he's copying them. I'm trying not to interfere too much but his mum is only 3 weeks away from having her next baby and she just hasn't got the energy to deal with him! Obviously I absolutely adore my grandson, but it is also my son's wedding day and it's going to go smoothly if it kills me!
Having been down this road a few times, I would advise to find a different page-boy. I've seen weddings practivally ruined because adults insisted on forcing a child to participate. The child, in this case, is only two years old. It's not the suit he's upset with, it;s the fact that he's so apprehensive and frightened of the prospect of walking down an aisle with tens, possibly hundreds of people watching him. If you are fortunate enough to actually get him in the suit and to the wedding the odds are pretty good that it's all going to fall apart at the crucial moment. Relieve the child of this trauma and find someone else. Some children actually like the spotlight...
I agree with Clanad. Unless you enjoy trauma and aggravation, withdraw him as pageboy. He will only be missed for pictoral purposes anyway. It's not like the bride and groom will be absorbed with anyone barr themselves.....
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I really appreciate all your comments, but I can't agree with you clanad about him being apprehensive about walking down the aisle. He has absolutely no idea what a wedding even is so he can't possibly be scared. It's not in a church anyway so he will only have to walk into a room at the venue hand-in-hand with the flower girl (also 2 years old!) supervised by an adult bridesmaid. Don't worry, none of the family would dream of letting a tantrum spoil the day for the couple, he'll be whisked outside pretty damn quick if he starts!
You have kind of made your mind up if you dont mind me saying.

Personally, I think its a lot to ask of a 2 year old, and yes I have children of my own so I can say that.

I personally dislike all this pomp and ceremony with children and would simply pull him from the proceedings and let him enjoy himself.

It doesnt take a child psychologist to tell you that the child simply does not want to wear the suit and that he is unhappy. I would rather a happy child then force him into something he obviously doesnt want to do.

The more you try and persuade him the more he will resist.

And if he plays up, you are going to swiftly remove him and then what? Tell him off? After he has given ample notice of his intentions? Let children have their childhood and listen to them within reason.
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I take your point Mrs Pegasus, thing is the decision isn't mine, at the end of the day it's up to the couple getting married and my grandsons parents (my daughter and her partner) to have a talk and decide what to do. To be honest, my daughter has been edgy from day one in case it goes pear shaped, but the bride-to-be has been adamant she wants to give it a go. Thats what I mean about trying not to interfere, I keep saying "are you really sure about this" The little flower girl is loving it all, trying her dress on and showing off in front of the mirror, but then, thats a little girl, not a little boy who would much rather be scruffy and doing little boy things.
Yes I agree with you. Another thing to remember is that when the little fella does start acting up (and he surely will!) is it you who will be 'whisking him away' and missing most of the ceremony? If it is you ... is that what YOU really want?
i personally mysef would coax him into wearing his suit tell him you will buy him a teddy bear or a bob the builder toy thats if he likes bob the builder, due to i often have the same problem with my 3 year old son son. trust me it works
When I had my pageboy many years ago, he wore black pants and a satin shirt which matched the bridesmaids. It was quite comfy and not as stuffy as a suit. Could you not go for something not quite so formal. He will still look cute and be more comfortable.
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It's been decided that he won't wear the jacket so he'll be in black trousers and white shirt with a pale blue waistcoat. He had that on today for a while and was running around playing in it quite happily, he met the little flower girl for the first time today and they were having a whale of a time so they definitely get on alright. I'll let you all know how it went.
Sounds like you'll have a great day. I am sure he will be fine
...and so ends on a positive note!!!

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