Hoop Jumping

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melv16 | 11:49 Mon 16th Jul 2018 | Parenting
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Whilst I was on holiday my daughter took delivery of our second adoptive granddaughter, at only a week old.
The powers that be stipulate that for the following six months the birth mother has the right to see her three times a week for 2 hours. That means a social worker picks her up, takes her to a family centre and observes the birth mother with the baby.
Hopefully, she will repeat her behaviour with my first grandchild and pack it in after a couple of visits.


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It must be hard not knowing if your new granddaughter is staying with you or the mother might change her mind.

I really hope that it goes well and that your daughter will have two little girls.
Its not really hoop jumping though is it?
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It's almost certain that my daughter will get custody. But at a critical time for the baby to bond with her, she is whisked away for nine hours a week.
The law is the law, I suppose.
Ah...but those two hours aren't going to be natural and comforting hours, Melv.......the time with your daughter and the family will be...and very special hours when baby returns....

I do know how distressing this wait is....long six months if it does continue, isn't it......but seems it may not be that long...

Enjoy your new granddaughter...... Gx

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Thanks for the kind replies, wolf and gness. She doesn't know until the morning of the visit whether the birth mother can be arsed to turn up.
if she's been adopted, the mother can't change her mind can she? (assuming she is allowed a say anyway)
Melv. It's a very difficult time for everyone. Spare a thought for the mother, As you know contact may not proceed as arranged. Give it time and all will " work out " .
Melv. It's a very difficult time for everyone. Spare a thought for the mother, As you know contact may not proceed as arranged. Give it time and all will " work out " .
I know it must seem difficult, but oh what joy awaits at the end of the process - hope everything goes well Melv.
Oops , sorry about the double .
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I do spare a thought for the mother and I think she needs help. However, the child always comes first in matters like these.
I gather that the meetings are used for the birth mother to come to terms with losing the baby.
oh dear..seems heartbreaking a carrot... don't think I agree with this..due process should beforehand be followed to my thinking
When I gave up my daughter for adoption, that was it.
No seeing her ever again, a thrice weekly 2 hour visit would have been cruel in the extreme imo.

Hope all goes well Melv xx
Well surely the biological mother should have a chance with her daughter to see whether she wants to keep it or not which would be the ideal humanitarian situation.
hugs Albs x
should that not be decided before breaking more hearts ? nope...once the decision has been made that should be it
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Minky. She is the birth mother of my first grandchild. She was in a foster mother's care and did a runner when the baby was 12wks old.
When she came out of hospital over a week ago she refused to go into a mother and baby unit. The judge immediately gave the order for fostering /adoption order.
The adoption process is very complex for the birth mother/family and the adopting mother/family. Everyone has " rights" mostly the baby/child.
melv heart is with you xx
Melv - I hope it goes in the favour of your daughter.

I feel for the birth mother. do you know her history?

Some people just don't learn how to be good parents because their own parents were crap.

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