Hoop Jumping

[melv16]

Whilst I was on holiday my daughter took delivery of our second adoptive granddaughter, at only a week old.
The powers that be stipulate that for the following six months the birth mother has the right to see her three times a week for 2 hours. That means a social worker picks her up, takes her to a family centre and observes the birth mother with the baby.
Hopefully, she will repeat her behaviour with my first grandchild and pack it in after a couple of visits.

[gness]

I see, Melv...and yes I can see the thinking of the social workers...

Such a distressing time.....this waiting seems like a lifetime doesn't it.....x

[woofgang]

I suspect that birth mother has only a limited grip on reality and that both the judge and the SS are hoping that she can be brought to understand real life. I am sorry that it is hurting you and your family though. In the long run, it may be for the best as I would suggest that its cutting out any chances of future appeals and making the placement of any future children easier.

[melv16]

It's not a good feeling waiting for the birth mother to fail, gness. Which in all probability will.
Thankyou you again for all the message of support from all of you.

[gness]

Oh I know, Melv.....I have seen it in my own family....x

[ummmm]

She'll fail, Melv xx

[melv16]

Birth mother turned up but left early:-)

[anneasquith]

Very stressful for all concerned, but the baby will come to no harm, patience his the answer .

[gness]

Which is the start of no shows I guess, Melv.....if she truly wanted the baby.....and as you say her sister, then every moment would be precious........x

[melv16]

No show, today:-)

[tamborine]

This is torture for both mothers but particularly for your dter melv. Perhaps the visits by birth mother is to remind her not to birth more babies.

A deaf single mother I knew had both her babies removed by SS. The mother was deaf as her mother threw her out of a window. The deaf mother subsequently had at least 2 abortions after rape. She earned drugs via sex.

[anneasquith]

I think now you may see why the judge made the decision last week melv.

[kvalidir]

I feel dreadfully sorry for everyone concerned Melv, but ultimately this will work in your favour. Despite it being a frightening and worrying time your daughter will end up with a new child whilst her birth mother will lose all contact with her at least until she is an adult because she's unable to function properly. I hope everything goes well x

[melv16]

It looks like it's going back to court.
I do feel so sorry for the birth mother, I do hope she gets some help.

[melv16]

Update: Visits going back to 3 days a week. Court hearing going in front of original judge. Birth mother can't cope with 5 visits a week. She didn't make it today.

[gness]

This is hard for all, Melv.....but I'm sure we can see the outcome and your daughter will have her family...
And yes, I feel for the birth mother...but the baby is the most important one in all of this......Gx

[melv16]

Original judge has taken advice from birth mother's solicitor, who has said in other words is not fit to look after a baby. The final adoption hearing should be late Nov.
Out of 8 possible visits she managed only one full 2hr visit. She left early on 2 and failed on five.
Looks like I've got another granddaughter :-)

[Rosetta]

Yay ^^^. Hope it continues to go well Melv

[anneasquith]

Very best wishes for November. Hopefully this mother will get some much needed help in the future .

[Tilly2]

It will be a nail biting wait but worth it in the end, I hope.

[gness]

Oh, Melv....I do hope so.....my best wishes for November......Gx