Hoop Jumping

[melv16]

Whilst I was on holiday my daughter took delivery of our second adoptive granddaughter, at only a week old.
The powers that be stipulate that for the following six months the birth mother has the right to see her three times a week for 2 hours. That means a social worker picks her up, takes her to a family centre and observes the birth mother with the baby.
Hopefully, she will repeat her behaviour with my first grandchild and pack it in after a couple of visits.

[Minkyme]

//Some people just don't learn how to be good parents because their own parents were crap.//

Parenting is instinctive so those that are bad can’t blame it on //being taught// by their own bad parents besides if you’ve had a bad childhood then surely your number one priority is to end the cycle and give your children the childhood you never had.

[jennyjoan]

Good luck Melv - does sound very promising in that your daughter will again be a mum - if birth mum wasn't interested first time she probably won't be interested second time.

There's a lady near me who fostered a new baby like last time a whole year and had to give baby up - now I see she has another brand new baby to foster. Don't know how on earth she can give them back but has to of course.

[ummmm]

Minkyme - that would be perfect, it just doesn't happen all the time. Abusers abuse because that's all they've known others don't because they see the damage it does.

I believe everyone needs one good person in their life to show them.

[Patsy33]

Best wishes to.your daughter and baby Melv.x

[jno]

parenting is instinctive? I wish. Any parents who've ever wondered why a baby keeps crying will wish they were instinctive too. It's learnt, it's taught, and you just have to hope your teacher was a good one.

[murraymints]

seems all but all will be well xx

[melv16]

Thankyou again for your kind and well thought out answers.
The birth mother's family have a file 2" thick with social services. I gather she was neglected as a child and has learning difficulties through neglet. Gladly, this wasn't passed on to her 1st child, who's as bright as a button.

[melv16]

She failed to turn up today......

[marval]

It is such a difficult time melv. I hope all goes well, and that you get another loved and wanted granddaughter.

[Tilly2]

'the birth mother has the right to see her three times a week for 2 hours.'

She's not going to make three times a week is she? Poor thing, she has very little chance of a happy, settled life.

Best wishes on being given the gift of a new grandaughter.

[melv16]

More hoops have been put in the way by a family court judge, who's decided to give the birth mother another chance. My daughter and husband are devastated, as am I. Obviously, I cant post any details, as yet.

[Rockrose]

Sorry melv whilst I appreciate that your daughter is 'devastated' think how the birth mother is feeling, SS have to be able to say without a doubt that this child cannot live with her mother. I agree with the husdges decision.

[Rockrose]

**judges**

[anneasquith]

Adoption can be a dreadful process. Best wishes to your family .

[Canary42]

As an uncle of three adopted children, I find this ruling extremely cruel, and the only outcome will be harmful, with no mitigating justification whatever. My heart goes out to your daughter and her husband, and I hope everything works out in the end after the tortuous three months, inflicted by a totally-out-of-touch judge who should be removed from the Family Court immediately.

[melv16]

The judge has stipulated that the birth mother can see the baby every day (excluding weekends), up to the end of the month. She's already missed one day, early on the other and asked the social worker that if she's successful with this baby, can she have the other one back!

[melv16]

//went early//

[gness]

Oh Melv....that's distressing for you all.....but surely her behaviour will weigh heavily against her. I do hope so and your daughter and husband can settle and relax with their family....x

Just had a thought...perhaps the judge giving her five days a week is his/her way of proving how unreliable she is? If she can't turn up for fewer days she won't for five days a week?

[melv16]

It's a bit of a compromise, gness. The judge wanted to put her straight into a mother and baby unit. The social services argued the case for the daily visits, probably knowing that she'd make a mess of it.
BTW, the social workers were astounded at the judgment.

[LadyCG]

Congratulations on the new addition to the family, Melv.

Spare a thought for the birth mother, though. It must be very painful for her.