Don't Bother With Snopes.....

[Barmaid]

I read this on a local forum earlier, it made me pmsl. I have no idea whether it is true or not and I don't really care, it just made me laugh at the level of retribution. Wouldn't you just WANT to do something like this?!!! :-

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

[DJHawkes]

semoer fi means he was a US marine doesn;t it? (like leroy jethro gibbs?)

[2sp_]

I love it, wouldn't it be great if it was true?

[boxtops]

Isn't it short for Semper Fideles (ever faithful)?

Nice one, barmaid :-)

[Canary42]

Only flaw in his plan is the posting, which immediately exonerates the mugger from all other activities.

[LazyGun]

It is a great story, and the retribution does sound satisfyingly vengeful. I did take a look at Snopes though, because I do think the provenance of such stories is important to my appreciation of the story :)

Semper Fi, just like Leroy Gibbs...

[DJHawkes]

that's who i said lazygun ^

[Psybbo]

I take it you'll be defending the mugger? :-) Love it!

[LazyGun]

Aye DJ -I was responding to your post and confirming you were right :)

[Jeza]

Love it. Pity it's not true.

[askyourgran]

That sounds wonderful. I bet my elderly next door neighbour who was mugged a while ago and is now afraid to go anywhere, wishes she could have done half of that.

[Barmaid]

I did say "I don't care whether true or not, I don't care". I only posted it because it tickled me.

For those who really need to know it IS a fake, but I just thought it was funny in the desire, the writing and the wit.

[gness]

True or not I love it....very much my type of revenge which i will post on here when all my victims are dead....x

[LazyGun]

I agree it is funny and satisfyingly retributive - but you cannot start a post saying dont bother with snopes and expect everyone to honour that :)

Plus which, for me the provenance of a story contributes to the satisfaction.

[Flyhalf]

Shame, it would be so great if it were true.

[Caran]

I don't understand what " don't bother with Snopes" means.

[Flyhalf]

Caran, it's an urban myths site (they say urban legends) snopes.com

[jno]

sounds suspiciously like gun-lobby propaganda to me