ChatterBank6 mins ago
Domestic Violence
43 Answers
There are dozens of threads on here every week about male-on-female (MOF) violence, and this thread is in no way aimed at belittling those, but i was reading an article last night that made a lot of sense.
Essentially the article was saying that there is more female-on-male domestic (FOM) violence than the other way round. It went on to say that although the severity of the violence is less than when a man dishes it out, it's a lot more commonplace.
Generally violence commited by women is unreported and no one has any real ideas about how much takes place but from studies conducted they were saying something like 60-70% of the adult male population has had some form of violence committed by them at some point during their life by their partner. This ranges from slaps and thrown objects, to full on stabbings and being pushed down stairs.
The problem is that men don't report these attacks very often. Usually they have the social stigma of admitting they were attacked by a 'weaker, smaller' person attached, they also have the fact the no one takes it seriously, chucki in the fact that it's socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man but not vice-versa.
We've all seen the Little Mo storyline on Eastenders and the various storys and programmes devoted to FOM violence, we've all seen soaps where the man acts like a b'stard so his girlfriend/wife slaps him, when was the last time you saw mainstream tv devoted to FOM violence though?
Why is it acceptable for a woman to slap a man when he's cheated; but if the tables were turned and she was the one playing away from home, if he gave her a slap it would be domestic violence with the whole police drama attached.
Essentially the article was saying that there is more female-on-male domestic (FOM) violence than the other way round. It went on to say that although the severity of the violence is less than when a man dishes it out, it's a lot more commonplace.
Generally violence commited by women is unreported and no one has any real ideas about how much takes place but from studies conducted they were saying something like 60-70% of the adult male population has had some form of violence committed by them at some point during their life by their partner. This ranges from slaps and thrown objects, to full on stabbings and being pushed down stairs.
The problem is that men don't report these attacks very often. Usually they have the social stigma of admitting they were attacked by a 'weaker, smaller' person attached, they also have the fact the no one takes it seriously, chucki in the fact that it's socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man but not vice-versa.
We've all seen the Little Mo storyline on Eastenders and the various storys and programmes devoted to FOM violence, we've all seen soaps where the man acts like a b'stard so his girlfriend/wife slaps him, when was the last time you saw mainstream tv devoted to FOM violence though?
Why is it acceptable for a woman to slap a man when he's cheated; but if the tables were turned and she was the one playing away from home, if he gave her a slap it would be domestic violence with the whole police drama attached.
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No violence of this kind is acceptable. I do get your point bob, but I do question the statistics that FOM violence is more prevalent & commonplace than the other way round.
As someone who experienced domestic violence of an increasing & escalating nature until I had to go to the Police & Courts, I can only speak from my own experience. However, I do agree that men are far less likely to report violence from their female partner because of the fear of stigma or ridicule - it's ridiculous really, because all violence of this nature should be reported and stopped. But I can't see that things will ever change that much.
As someone who experienced domestic violence of an increasing & escalating nature until I had to go to the Police & Courts, I can only speak from my own experience. However, I do agree that men are far less likely to report violence from their female partner because of the fear of stigma or ridicule - it's ridiculous really, because all violence of this nature should be reported and stopped. But I can't see that things will ever change that much.
Maybe it's because most ideas of female to male domestic violence is slapping, kicking, throwing, tantrums etc..... whereas the idea of male to female is punching, beating etc. Not true I know, but I'm sure more serious injuries are inflicted upon women by men than the other way round. Maybe it's a matter of strength & size?
Whatever - all domestic violence is wrong.
Whatever - all domestic violence is wrong.
I asked a few of my work colleauges this morning and all of them have said that they have had girlfriends who have either hit kicked or bit them. One of my mates was hospitalised by his wife after she hit him in the face with a pan then stabbed him whilst he was unconcious. My ex-wife used to hit me in the face and chest when she was angry, and slap me all the time. It's much more common than I ever realised.
http://www.mankind.or.../DVGovtStatsJan08.pdf
Of course FOM violence exists, but reading the above shows just how greater the chances are of MOF violence.
Of course FOM violence exists, but reading the above shows just how greater the chances are of MOF violence.
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Good subject Bob, I know first hand what this like from my Ex wife, i have been stabbed and had many things thrown at me let alone all the slapping etc, the worst was the mental abuse, I eventually left her after such an episode, I never went to the police simply because it was never serious enough to warrant polive intervention. The stabbing, while it obviously sounds serious and could have been more serious it was not much more than a fleash wound from a carving fork. I can handle myself very well with any guy but I will never harm a Woman and detest men hitting women, my problem was that I always felt that by physically defending myself or restraining her in any way may have harmed her I never did defend myself. The stigma attached to a male being beaten by a female means most of these attacks will never get reported and I suppose im guilty of that as well to a degree.
Its not acceptable at all. I use to watch a girl uptown always laying into her bloke, anyway one night they argued outside the pub and she starting kicking him and biting him and after all the years of abuse he flipped and knocked her out and I laughed. She had him arrested too!! But what you have missed is Blokes hitting blokes in relationships. My gay mate used to get bit, hit, beaen by his boyfriend who was smaller than him and he never fought back because that wasnt his style. Luckily they are no longer together.
interesting post i was a victim of domestic violence for 7 years being hospitalised many times before i had the courage to leave him. I couldnt even think of hitting back because the consequences would of been far worse for me. Fact men are the stronger sex. Men who suffer domestic from domestic violence i suppose are caught in a catch 22 situation they cantfight back as it is always demed worse if a man hits a female than the other way round but violence is violence in my book and should be treated as such in court . I am now in a secure happy relasionship but it takes years to recover.
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