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The most indescribable torment ever experienced....

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bobjugs12 | 23:32 Thu 01st Mar 2012 | ChatterBank
39 Answers
Evening all.
I just wanted to share some things with everyone.
1) NoM will not let me read Pistonheads in peace. She insists that I do a miniblog about my scrotum
2) My nuts are killing me
3) Childbirth is easy compared to this!!!

As many of you already know, I had a vasectomy reversal a couple of weeks ago. This involved a surgeon using a Stanley knife to open my *** up, leaving me with a wound each side about 6' in length. Since the op I have been forced to eat a hundred pills a day, wear a uber-fashionable jockstrap, and walk like John Wayne. My nuts are currently the size of a small family car and weigh more than 3.5ton.
Since the op, my sack has gone from orange, to red, to brown, to blue, to black. It's currently heading back towards a dark crimson colour.
I also managed to catch severe (and life-threatening) Sepsis in my wounds, and I actually died two days ago.
However, the worst thing about this is the itching. I want to cry. The stitches are making my legs itch; the scars itch; my hairy bits itch; my John-Thomas itches. In fact the whole frigging world itches.

So there is my miniblog. NoM doesn't quite realise how much she owes me for suffering this trauma. I will use it in every argument we ever have
eg NoM "You spent £1000 on beer and fast cars over the weekend. That was irresponsible!" Me "Yeah. Well I had my nuts cut open for you!"

So, my dear ABers, I will conclude this pointless rant by saying that NoM has cold feet and she snores

Night all
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Will get my trolley - right there with you Bob ♥
He's so dead...
Heartless woman.
Mine have just gone into hibernation reading this...
Bloody southern jessie...................
Two days ago you were eating cake ya gimp.
But it will all be worth it in the long run (hope it works)
Hope it's all worth it in the end.
Tsk really! Look NoM - you've already got a baby! ;) xxx
You have my deepest sympathy Bob, women can be heartless beasts some times!!

Hi NoM, how are you?

good luck on the outcome!! :))
Hehe Wimp! Comparable to man flu ;)
big southern nancy boy
You must have thought the benefits and incentives worth it!
Twins by c section - two off them at it, bloke surgeon had huge hands, had to stop them because I could feel it all (like someone doing the washing up inside your stomach) - man up (ok, you feel rubbish, try feeling rubbish and breast feeding and not sleeping).

Ps - good luck, hope it all goes well for you both, x
Yer got time off work!

NoM - my condolences :)
Sometimes I wonder why people want children. They are a terrible worry to bring up aren't they. Mind you, I wouldn't be without my two.
I, like any man, sympathise with you bobjugs just thinking about your op gives me the shivers. I know what you mean about the cold feet and snores as well Trish denies it but some night she's like she's sawing logs
Forgot to add that I hope it turns out OK for you and NoM
Star - I think Bob could be without his 'two' right now ;)
For a minute there Paddy, I thought you meant you'd slept with Nom ;)

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