friendship

[aka31_shinde]

i m 13 yrs old. my friend which is 15 yrs old (boy) stays at my uncle's house.our friendship started when i was 10 & he was 12. it was started due to our parents . they insist us bcoz iwas getting bored at my uncle's house. my cousin sister is also his friend . she is 17 yrs old. but now our both parents are against our friend . they are not saying it directly but we both know it. we dont know why mom&dad are doing this. actually his mom has also warned him. but then too he is talkking with us when no one is there. why parents are behaving like this ? please help!

[karenmac60]

Let me work this out - your parents encouraged you to be friends with this boy when you were 10, but now that you're 13 they've cooled off on the idea and are wary of you spending time with him, although they haven't come right out and said anything? I would imagine that they were fine with it when you were younger as it was all very innocent and you were just friends, but now he's 15 and they are maybe worried about you spending time alone with what is really a young man, in case the friendship progresses to more. If he was your own age they maybe wouldn't worry, but since he's older then I would guess they are just worried about you getting into a more adult relationship before you are mature enough to handle it. Unless there is something you're not telling - like, does he get into trouble, does he drink? If there is nothing like that then I'd say they're just worried and if it is all just innocent friendship with him then sit them down and talk to them. Show them you can both be trusted and don't go sneaking around behind their backs.

[pastafreak]

Forgive me for asking, but what is your nationality or cultural background? Are you British or American-or are you Muslim? I am wondering since you say BOTH yours and your older cousins parents are against this friendship. I think we need a bit more information to give advice-tho what karen has said is an excellent start.

[aka31_shinde]

i m an indian girl. i m hindu.my friend is not drinking, but he has 4 girlfriends.

[boxtops]

I think it is very difficult for you but also for your parents. They will be wondering if the lad is the right company for their daughter as the years go by - you know yourself the importance of family and family views. I'm not clear, is this boy your cousin? you say he stays at your uncle's house. I think karen is right, the boy is sufficiently older than you that he could be seen as a bit of a risk to you, and apparently to your older cousin. Perhaps there is more to this that you don't know, has the boy been in trouble and you might not know about it? It is also coming up to exam time for him, I remember my parents were anxious about my social life when I should have been studying, perhaps that has something to do with it. Can't you ask your parents outright what is the matter? - at least then you would know!

[aka31_shinde]

the boy is not my cousin.he is neigbouring to my uncle's house!

[boxtops]

Ah Ok - now I understand, you did say he stayed at your uncle's so I thought you meant he lived with them. If your uncle and aunt are this boy's neighbours, then, they may know something about the family which leads them to want to distance from them. Is this boy also Indian/Hindu?

[aka31_shinde]

he is too hindu, (south indian) and i m maharastrain. i think it doesnt matter of caste. what do u think i should break friendship?