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How Do I Ask For Emotional Support During Hard Times?

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Anne1977 | 06:22 Sun 19th May 2019 | Relationships & Dating
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If you have read my previous thread, you will have some insight into my situation.
So here's another dilemma that I wouldn't mind a little guidance for.
I've not seen by boyfriend (who I've been dating for 10mnths, he is 50yrs and I am 42) for a week (which is fine).
But during the week, we've communicated only briefly via text.
During the week I've managed to hide a roller-coaster week which has left me a shadow of my former self.
Ive been very sick with a kidney infection and to top it all, I received a letter from tax credits to say I owed them £1400 on Fri night so they will be deducting £300 a month until 2021

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£300 a month till 2021 is £5700. Just saying.
Plus interest Zacs, of which I have little.
I think you may be putting more pressure on yourself hiding your bad week from the boyfriend. Is he not the one who should be giving you emotional (and perhaps financial) support.
Question Author
Hi all,
For some reason it hasn't posted the rest of my question.
You're right about £5700, I'd not looked at it that way.
All I know is they have sent a letter saying I've been over paid- (I used to receive £370 working tax and child tax Inc) per month and they will claw it back by receiving £70 a month until 2021 based on my income.
I'm not a bum who believes I'm entitled to funds. I'm a single mum who works as a nurse 32hrs a week. I physically cannot work more due to school pick ups, drop offs and childcare.
But that wasn't my question.
My question was, is there something fundamentally wrong with my relationship when I feel I can't talk to my boyfriend about this, because he is so successful in his business and I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, when I have nothing.
He counts when it's my turn to buy a take out and even saw me selling clothes to raise funds and said that I 'needn't worry about paying the full amount of our take out' .... He would pay half. Needless to say I cooked instead.
After all my outgoings I am left with £50 a month and I'm scared.
I've not eaten or slept, but when I told my boyfriend of the letter, he replied 'oh no honey, that's a bit rubbish, I don't know what to say'. Then he went out with the lads all night and I didn't hear from him again.
I thought he may have called me to see how I was prior to going out(I've not spoken to him for 5 days, other than text). It would have been nice to hear his voice, but maybe I am expecting too much?




I think perhaps you are. He clearly sees your relationship in a different way than you do.
I don't see much support from your boyfriend,Are you sure that he is the man for you?
You're never going tonget anything back from this guy.
Bin him.
You're worth ten of him (or more).
^^to get^^
I am sorry for your troubles. This man is worthless. Dump him.
You can try... tell him what you have told us here and see what his response is x
You say that you have
'managed to hide a roller-coaster week'
If you have done this, and are glossing over your problems when you are with him, is it possible that he doesn't realise how hard things are for you at the moment ?
From my experience, many men don't notice things the way female friends possibly would.
You need to talk to him.
I hope things improve for you, when your physically ill it can be hard to deal with problems. It does not sound as if your boyfriend looks on your relationship the same as you do, maybe time to review if your getting anything from it .
Perhaps we can help improve your financial situation.

A. Perhaps get Citizens Advice Bureau to check the tax credits situation.

B. Follow Martin Lewis's advice to reduce costs if utilities and the like.

Perhaps start with your mobile bill. If you are out of contract give us an idea of your usage and we could point you in the direction of a cheaper deal.
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