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Thinking About Old Girlfriend

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CJHorse | 18:33 Thu 10th Mar 2016 | Relationships & Dating
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For the last week I have not been able to stop thinking about a girl I used to know. We had a brief relationship in 1974 when we were teenagers and I adored her with the intensity which is only possible at that age. She broke up with me and it absolutely destroyed me at the time. I couldn't even think about another girl for around TWO YEARS. I had completely got over it a long time ago, but she popped into my mind and now won't go away. All I can think of is whether life has made her happy.

Is this common? I know it would be a terrible idea to try to contact her. I have been married very happily for 30 years and love my wife and children far too much to risk hurting them. The trouble is, 42 years have disappeared from my mind and I feel like a lovesick kid.
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Oh goodness, I've been thinking about a man I was with about 25 years ago. I should give the following advice to myself as well. Just don't. You have a wife and children. enjoy the fantasy that this woman might want to have a relationship with you, but don't do anything.
18:39 Thu 10th Mar 2016
Can't get her out of your mind eh?
Right.......try and find her, contact her and meet her.
You may well be disillusioned when you see her, Particularly if she has had kids, she may not be the woman that you had been thinking about.

If you still fancy the pants off her after meeting her, then have an affair for about 6-9 months and then reassess the situation.
Oh goodness, I've been thinking about a man I was with about 25 years ago.
I should give the following advice to myself as well. Just don't. You have a wife and children. enjoy the fantasy that this woman might want to have a relationship with you, but don't do anything.
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LOL^^^
or the old flame has a headache! :-(
\\\\\ I have been married very happily for 30 years and love my wife \\

Yeah! right!

and you can't stop thinking about this girl?
Don't bother - your illusions will be shattered. Just polish your rose-coloured spectacles.
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Yes I have and yes I do. I have no intention of jeopardising that so please don' t be so cynical. I just wondered how common this is.
on a literary note, Dickens
( a thousand ABers post " who he ven ? " )
adored Estelle in Great Expectations
and re - met her and described her unflatteringly as
Miss Finching in Little Dorrit .....
More common than you think.
I think you're right, fred and sqad.
CJHorse, she's not the same person she was in 1974. Enjoy what you have.
I think, subconsciously, it's your lost youth that you are mourning. As we get older we tend to reminisce more.
Yes, sqad, I think one never really gets over one's first love!
what else is going on in your life? stress? disappontment? changes at work? Something has made your brain think the past was better than the present.

Skool reunions are all about re-meeting people from god knows when

They are not about rekindling friendships ( so I dont go ) but more to answer the question - "what happened to old X" and then depart to ones new life

I have had some real shocks re meeting people from 25 y ago
usually on the lines of asking myself why didnt see how shallow they were
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In 1960 I had a fling with a beautiful, raven-haired Jewess. Wow! Three years ago I came across her on Facebook; she had uploaded a photograph of herself. Grey-haired, wrinkly, overweight.... time had not been kind to her. I prefered to remember her as she was in that final embrace. Illusion shattered!
Mind, I've deteriorated too - grey-haired, beer belly, crowns for teeth, flatulent, bespectacled.....
Fred


\\\frugalfred
In 1960 I had a fling with a beautiful, raven-haired Jewess. Wow! \\\

LOL Was he name Miya and a nurse in the East End of London?
I had a fling with her too.
Did you know she was married to a Dentist in Berne?

LOL.....
It's very common and is often labelled by the sweeping and rather unfair 'mid-life crisis'.
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