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Depression.Any experience of this?

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barb1314 | 19:14 Wed 18th Feb 2009 | Body & Soul
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This is for a friend of mine who thinks her other half may be suffering from depression.
Has anyone had any experience of living with someone who has been diagnosed?
His symptoms are this
1.No longer wanting to spend time with her or anyone else
2.Waking up in the early hours and not being able to sleep
3.Obsession with playing music alone in spare room every night all night
4.General bad moods and getting angry with her for little reason
Sounds to me like a classic case.Can anyone advise whether I may be right and what she could do?
Thanks
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Sorry barb, this is probably better info xxx
http://www.nhs.uk/Pathways/depression/Pages/La nding.aspx
It may not be depression, he may be on drugs. Those are all common symptoms. I would also consider speaking to a drugs advice line too to get their opinion and help.
Sounds like he's wanting to spend a lot of time alone or, at least, with no-one else around.

Out of interest, does he stay in bed or go elsewhere when he can't sleep and does he go out a lot on his own?
Question Author
Hi Jenna,he stays in bed apparently and eventually goes to sleep and almost never goes out at all.Thanks too Sachs and Tigwig,will tell her to look at those sites.I think the drugs thing is a no no but will mention it nevertheless.Thanks again.It's just not something I know anything about.
I have depression myself. Have done since I was 16 or so. When I'm well, I good, but it can strike at any time & my mood plummets. There can be a trigger like a harsh word from someone or stress.
My symptoms are.....
1: Isolating. When I'm unwell I don't answer the door or phone & don't leave the house unless I urgently need food.
2: I can't sleep. I have to resort to sleeping pills. If I didn't, I'd get more unwell & that's when thoughts of suicide creep in.
3: I can't be around anyone as I believe they don't like me & I just want to be alone.
4: I get very irritable & can lash out at insignificant things.

I denied I had depression for a very long time. I believed I was too strong & intelligent to have any sort of mental illness &, of course, didn't want one. So I suffered for 10 years until an attempted suicide got me into the mental health system.

Men are harder on themselves when it comes to mental health issues. If your friend broaches the subject with her partner, he may get defensive & say he's fine - just tired. Or he may get very angry at the suggestion of it - how dare she intimate he might be mentally unwell, that's for sissys!
So if he does have a mental illness & won't accept it, then accept help for it - your friend has a rather hard time ahead. But she mustn't blame herself or lose herself. She will have to look after herself & stay healthy.

But it might be he's on drugs or he wants to end the relationship or anything else.

Anyway - good luck to your friend & her partner.
Question Author
Hi MWB,thanks so much for that.It's so nice that you have told me your own personal experience.That's what i needed so I could tell my friend.Your story sounds very familiar and the symptoms so alike.I had a chat with her today and will speak again later.I am so grateful.Thanks again and I hope you can stay well yourself.Sounds like she will also need a lot of support from me and her family too.
Hi barb. How is your friends partner?
Question Author
Hi MWB,well we were right.Diagnosed with clinical depression last week,started on 6 months of Citalopram 20g.He's feeling much more positive about things,I think now there looks to be a solution.No side effects so far apart from yawning a lot...feeling a bit drowsy.Psychologically he feels better even though the doc said tablets may not kick in for 2-4 wks..a big thankyou to you for the advice.She also feels a million times better.Hope you are also feeling well and thanks for asking.x
Good news! I'm glad for him & your friend. :)

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