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angel_wings | 14:46 Mon 09th Oct 2006 | Body & Soul
29 Answers
Hi there.
I havent used this before and was hoping i may be able to get some advice:
I went out on the weekend round to a friends house. he is an old friend who I have known for about 6 or 7 years and I once had a brief relationship with him. We have always remained friends and although we hardly see one another we often stay in contact through text or phone. Anyway, He invited me round on Saturday night and I turned up armed with vodka as we had already made plans to have a few drinks and catch up.
However, The day after I found out that I apprently made two calls to another friend of mine and sounded completely 'out of it'. This may not sound strange as first but it takes me quite alot to get drunk and also, this call was made just an HOUR after I had got to my friends house.
The other problem is, I have no memory of the night in question and the oly thing I do remember is arriving there and then leaving.. the next morning. Now I know that 'something' happened between us but I do not for one minute think I protested against this. Im just concerend about having no memory of the night whatsoever. I have tried to call and text this friend of mine since but it seems asthough he is ignoring me which he doesnt usually do.
I have since found out that he has a girlfriend which I had no idea about and now Im really starting to panic about what happened and how exactly I came to have no memory of the night at all. Any ideas???

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Sounds like you were drugged, and who knows what happened then!!!
Question Author
Hi Raysparx1. Thanks for your answer. I have thought about nothing else but that all weekend but I am just finding it extremeley hard to accept that that may have happened. Also, Why would he do that? We were both up for 'fun' if you get what I mean so I ask myself surley he wouldnt have needed to do that.?! I am so confused by it all and I am going out of my mind. Do you think I could just have memory loss from alcohol? I thought that may have been the case but it seems a bit odd that I would have been that drunk in less than an hour and then have no memory at all.
Just be aware these drugs are very powerfull, he might have taken photos of you or ,well no need to say reall is there, did you feel different to how you do after having a lot to drink, sort of hazy and light headed ?
I don't think you were drunk, to get that drunk that quickly is virtually impossible, unless you were drinking Vodka half pint at the time,but you would still have recall of doing that.
I agree with Ray. It doesn`t matter how drunk you get you still have memories of what you did. I have a suspicion which you may not like to accept. Did anything happen with him or maybe someone else.
it could be that you were drugged as Ray says. Call your local police station and sound out your fears. Im not sure how long afterwards they can test for any drugs but if you want to know what happened, and your friend is keeping quiet, then thats the only way you may get to discover what may have happened.
i hate to say it but i agree with Ray....and now since it seems he is ignoring you, it doesnt look good. Might be worth going to the docs and getting checked out as well.

take care xx

p.s hey ray xxxx
we've all been drunk. But how many times has anyone ever lost an entire evenings memory?
You really do need to seek help and fast
Hi wonderwon and red,hope you are both ok xx
wonderwon ? even wonderwoman xx
Have you ever had anything like this happen to you before, under different circs?

Both my best friend and sister had 'blackouts' like this (in the sense they could only remember things 'before' and 'after' the supposed blackout) when they were teenagers. Nothing of a sexual nature but it worried them both.

They were both told they had a form of epilepsy. One became much worse and one never suffered again.

I would have suggested the drug thing to be honest, as it sounds most likely to me (not a medical person!) especially the way your friend has behaved since - but i did wonder about the epileptic episodes as an alternative.

I hope you discover what it was caused by. Continue to chase up your friend. I think he probably knows far more about it than you.
Question Author
When I got home I didnt really have a 'typical hangover'. I.e I didnt have a banging as as I usually would. I did feel extremely weak though, My legs felt like jelly and I was quite dizzy and at one point thought I was going to faint. I put this down to having too much to drink and not eating in the day before I went out but now I really am beginning to question it.
I was looking at my phone the next day also and there was a picture of me on it that I hadnt taken. It wasnt anything 'bad', just a pic of me looking pretty worse for wear but as you mentioned Raysparx, I am now thinking that he may have used HIS phone to take pictures. I know theres nothing I can do about it and it is my own stupid fault for putting myself in that sitaution but I just feel so hurt and upset (not to mention humiliated) that this so called friend would be capable of doing such a thing.
yes thanks Ray, hope alls well with you too.

angel, have a read through these in case you do go to speak to police http://www.urban75.com/Drugs/daterape.html

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/rohypnol.htm

http://www.wrc-info.org/date_rape.htm
of course there is something that you can do about it, if you want to. Have you a close friend or family member that you can confide in?
nobody has the right to take pictures of you,get you to do things, while you are drugged, you should go to the police, it really sounds like you have been abused, the description you give of how you felt,is not a description of drink, I detest the sort of blokes that do this,don't be a victim please, he will do it again,these drugs are dangerous, it is an evil thing to do.
Question Author
Thankyou all for your answers and advise. Like I said, I have never used this site before but am amazed at the responce I have recieved.
I know I should but I am not going to take things any further i.e contact the police as I do not want to make a huge deal out of omething that could be nothing.
I am slowly starting to accept that he may ineed have drugged me but this is still something really difficult to take in.
The fact that he is not answering me now and ignoring me makes me think that he really does know more about what happend.
I feel hurt and upset that this 'friend' could maybe have done this but I now know that he obviously isnt a real friend, not in the slightest.
Thankyou all again for your kind words and advise. I guess I just needed someone else to confirm the horrible fears that I had going round my mind.
angel_wings,

ok if you don't want to go to the police,that is your choice,but you MUST go to the doctors, how do you know he hasn't infected you ? not sayuing he has but make sure you are ok, Ray. take care and good luck.
only you know if you want to take matters further. I have never been in such a situation, but I think Id have to make him answer for what may have happened.
I wish you all the best now youre coming to terms with it, you are either a very strong willed person or bottling it up very well.
and as Ray says, get to a clinic and get tested for stds please.
not only for STDs but you could be pregnant too

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