affairs

[littlemissx]

what would you do if you suspect and are 99 percent sure your mum is having an affair and you manage to obtain the other guys number???

[doglady]

I had the same kind of situation myself, but it was my dad having the affair. My advice would be to stay out of it. I know you want to protect your dad, but it's his and your mum's relationship. You want them to be happy, obviously, but you don't know everything that is going on in their lives. If they end up splitting up, they won't love you less, and they may end up happier.

I'm really sorry if that sounds harsh, and believe me, I know how you feel, but you don't and can't know the whole story. Try not to hold it against your mum.

Hope it all sorts itself out.

xxxxx

[loobie]

I had an e-mail address of the woman my dad was having an affair with. I set up a whole new e-mail account and e-mailed her anonymously to give them a chance to break it off. They didn't so I told my dad I knew and he lied his way out of it begging me not to tell mum cos it was nothing. Well it was something major but luckily I didn't have to tell mum as the woman started sending letters to her, then turned up on our doorstep (luckily I was away at uni, else I'd have punched her lights out!!) dad had to come clean and mum found out that I had known but was fine about it cos of the situation I was in. They are still living in the same house together (along with me) but there is basically no relationship there as my mum has never and I doubt will ever forgive him. Unfortunately she cannot financially afford to leave him.

I would say if you can go anonymous to find the truth out then do-so. And if you are like me in any way then you will want to find out because it will be preying on your mind night and day.

Good luck and I hope that it all works out ok. xx

[ktlou]

I've never had this problem myself but if it was me I would speak to my mum about it. I'd tell her what I suspect (or know) and see what she says. I probably wouldn't probe around anonymously - you might find out something you don't want to!! Just tell your mum what you suspect, let her explain (or deny) and then at least you know whats going on. I wouldn't tell your dad though, thats for your mum to do!!

[Mark74]

Be straight with your mum about your suspicions, hoefully she will be straight with yuo in return, As Doglady say's, you don't and probably never will know the full story, our parents try to protect us from the problems they have as it is usually too much for little shoulders to bere as they say. Don't think badly of either off them though, if there is something going on, it is surely not to hurt you. Hope all goes well !!!

[littlemissx]

i confronted my mum 18 months ago and she denied it and we fell out... i now have the number and have read the messages... they certainly arent innocent

[nat_84]

My dad had an affair and to be honst it wouldnt surprise me if he still is - my mum knew and my brother.

Not too long ago he even set up a business for her - the same sort as the one my mum and him run together. Which did my head in!!

As my mum is emotionally too weak and generally too nice she found it hard to get him to move out. It went on for ages and my dad also has a drink and drug addiction so he was abusive and difficult to live with.

Last year my mum FINALLY told him he has to move out - so he did.

I was capable of getting my dads 'girlfriend' number but wouldnt have known what to say.

I would like my mum to get a divorce but she couldnt due to financial reasons.

As much as i hate my dad for all the stress he puts me, my older brother and my mum through i still have a stable but not loving relationship with him - just to keep the peace.

[nat_84]

I think if it is happening your dad will find out eventually. Your dad may even know, but may be indenial and refuse to beleive what's is going on.

If i were u i'd leave it for the time being. Maybe have a quiet word with your mum but nothing else.

Hope it all works out ok.

[WendyS]

I suppose you could always say to your mum . "Mum, can you give me some advice on something which is really worrying me. . If I thought somebody was having an affair, would I be wrong to tell their partner?"

See if she blushes or looks embarrassed. If she is having an affair, the question might just be enough to prick her conscience and cause her to consider her position. If she goes on to ask "What on earth made you ask that question?" maybe you can then find the courage to explain to her the signs you are noticing and how they are causing you anxiety.

[beejaybee]

As far as you know you`re parents may have an agreement about extra marital relationships. I know of a married couple who both had relationships with other people.They were perfectly happy, had a family & remained married for over 30 years until the passing away of the husband through an illness.

[littlemissx]

i can assure you my parents relationship isnt like that and if my dad was to find out it'd kill him (probably whilst he was doing time for killing my mum and the other guy)