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Little Boy Adhd / Autism Advice Please?

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Theland | 20:16 Thu 15th Oct 2020 | Body & Soul
25 Answers
Oliver, little boy, (7), has been different to his older siblings since birth.
As a toddler, always climbing, exhausting to look after.
Now :-
Very short attention span, always asking for this and that.
Rolls his eyes a lot.
Always c?eating his throat, spitting or spitting stuff out of his mouth.
Sensitive to smells, tastes, and feeling, very sensual.
Makes inappropriate actions, sexually, rubbing himself on toys, furniture, anything.
Hyper active, gets very angry, very cheeky, a short fuse.
No fear, not bothered about danger.
Can be very shy, and lack confidence, other times, overly confident with adult relatives.
His mother is exhausted, and emotionally drained.
No help from the GP or the school.
Very intelligent. Gold at maths and can read anything.
School recognise his intelligence, and lack of confidence.
Always top or near top of his class.

Any ideas? Where can his parents turn for help?

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His parents need to go back to the GP and be persistent. They are very reluctant in general.... but he needs a referral to a paediatrician, who will be able to work out what the problem really is. You do need to fight for it though.
On top of your own suggestions, Sensory Processing Disorder seems apparent. Can be confused with autism.
Totally agree with Pixie, his Mum has to push very hard for a referral.
or dad
If named... but I think theland will get the point x
Apologies, quite correct - I thought only Mum was mentioned,now see parents in the last line.
Shouldn't have to though. My doctor referred my son on our first visit (advised by nursery)

My youngest had to wait from 8 months to 8 years.
Mental health care is still fairly rubbish and misunderstood, I think. Also, I think parents might push for a referral, when they just haven't tried any discipline.... so GPs are dubious.
Timing, Pixie, I think. My son is almost 22 now, they took it seriously at the time.

It might have been the time that rumours were going round about vaccines.
It was, actually.... but also GPs aren't qualified to either diagnose or rule any of these things out... so they should be referring them.
In any case, theland's nephew/friend/ relative, needs to get past a GP to get a professional answer.
Some starting points:

https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/information/parents/

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent

https://www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk/information-about-autism/early-years/parent-toolkit

https://www.childautism.org.uk/
(See the links in the 'for Families' drop-down menu)

I was constantly clearing my throat during my childhood. It took years before I found out why; it turned out to be a form of acid reflux which affects the back of one's throat but often doesn't produce the heartburn normally associated with the problem.
https://www.webmd.com/heartburn-gerd/guide/laryngopharyngeal-reflux-silent-reflux#1
It might be worth mentioning that possibility to the family's GP. (If it does turn out to be that, the solution is really simple, in the form of a daily proton pump inhibitor tablet or possibly just an increase in fluid intake).

With regard to the self-confidence problem, I suggest finding out what the lad is really good at and letting him excel in it, preferably where others are participating too. For example, a child who's very good at maths might love learning to play chess (and then probably hammering every adult in sight!). Don't just go for mental activities though, get him involved in things like indoor rock-climbing.

(Written from the perspective of someone with high-functioning autism myself. Been there, done that!)
Question Author
Thank you all for your responses.
Oliver is one of my youngest grandsons.
Just a few quick points.
Discipline :- Yes, his parents have always insisted on good behaviour, from all of their six children. Oliver is the youngest. He seems impervious to any discipline.
Chess :- His attention span is so short, that he would be off to do something else within minutes. He got a draughts set amongst his birthday presents today, so my daughter lives in hope.
He was taken to dance class with an older brother, (10), but would not join in, and it !lasted only twenty minutes.
I will go through the links later, thank you all.
I will certainly advise my daughter to see the GP again and insist on a referral.
Have his parents spoken to the school? How does he behave there? The school must have a special needs coordinator
I would ask to speak to him/her.
Question Author
Thank you Too.
Yes my daughter has spoken to the school, last time was when the school complained/reported to my daughter about Olivers behaviour, spitting.
My daughter has tried explaining to them that he has a problem, bit the school say he is very intelligent, but reluctant to fully engage with lessons, yet in spite of this he still shines in maths, English, other subjects, but is naughty.
If the GP is being reluctant,it may be worth them making a contact to CAMHS to at least seek advice in how to get an assessment for this young lad - he obviously needs some help.

Page here to find their nearest one.

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Childrens-Adolescent-Services/LocationSearch/691
Getting an assessment may take some time. There is some useful information here:- https://www.autism.org.uk/ (if indeed it is autism). I do not know if it autism, but there is a good starting point.

If it is autism, one of the issues is a high level of sensory requirement and these children are massively energetic (I had 8 years' experience as a step mum to an amazing lad on the spectrum who has now grown into a wonderful young man and of whom I am immensely proud).

Something that helped enormously to calm was a weighted blanket. (There are other weighted products available, like lap pads etc). There are loads available online. Until something formal is in place I would recommend something like that. Also structure and routine is very important (as mum is probably aware). Discipline is very difficult because very often sanctions and punishments are of no consequence on the basis that there is a different thought process. My stepson took things extremely literally. I remember one day hissing I'd had enough and was going to run away with the gypsies. Then I had to field 20 questions about who were the gypsies, where were they, how long would I be gone and what were their names and would I be back to cook pizza for dinner.
Question Author
Barmaid - yes yes yes!
That's what my daughter says!
Oliver takes everything literally.
That's the very word she uses!!!

Yes Mamya, CAMS, some involvement with them. Long story.


Thank you everybody.
We'll call my stepson Andrew. I was once up the stairs hanging up the washing and one of the cats yelled to go out. I shouted down the stairs "Andrew can you let Puss out, please". He responded that he was too busy and couldn't. After an exchange, I yelled back "stop being ridiculous". The answer I got back was "I am not ridiculous, I am Andrew Smith". The cat shat on the mat, I couldn't stop laughing (quietly to myself) at Andrew's response.
Sounds like Obie. He asked for something while I was cooking. I said 'hold on' so he did, he held on to the work surface :-D

If I said 'wait a minute' he'd time me.

Hard work, Theland, but funny nonetheless.

My son is 22 now. he's grown into his (high functioning) autism. It's a struggle though.

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