Suggestions For Helping Ill Elderly M-I-L

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jackthehat | 13:40 Sun 29th Mar 2020 | Body & Soul
42 Answers
83 year-old woman living on her own some 200 miles away from all family members in Northamptonshire.
She is just getting over some sort of laryngitis infection but can still barely be heard over the telephone.
She recently fell and after hours on the floor was admitted to hospital – chest X-rays showed her lungs to be clear but she has a damaged foot (details are a bit vague).
She was discharged back home but has since developed severe diahorrea to the extent that she has soiled much of her bed-linen and many of her clothes. She is also having trouble keeping food down: vomiting unexpectedly.

Her daughters are at their wits end – trying to organise anything from distance with the reduced services available is proving impossible.
They don’t know what to do for the best. Given current circumstances, can anyone suggest what they might do in the same situation?


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Is it possible for at least one of the daughters to visit mum. .?
Or could she not live with one of the daughters?
That would suggest to me a definite 999 call.
One of the daughters should go and get her and bring her to their home to look after her.
Question Author
1. Visiting is not a realistic possibilty.
2. It took 7 and a half hours for the ambulance to arrive when she fell.
There's only one option as far as I can see. One of her daughters must go to her, regardless of the lock down.
My immediate reaction would be to call 999. Where is she?
Yes, I wold go to my Mum under such circumstances.
If it were my Mum (who has long since passed)I would be on the line to 111 or even 999. Corona Virus doesn't preclude other emergencies.
If the sickness has lasted for over 24 hrs then this lady will be dehydrated, she needs medical attention.
And then I would go to self isolate with her (unless of course her daughter's were needed in their own homes).
How is getting in a car and going to visit an old woman 200 miles away 'not a realistic possibility'? She has two daughters and possibly daughter in laws and needs looking after 24/7. I'm sure if the tables were turned a mother would go and get her sick daughter and tend to her needs.
Question Author
Eldest daughter lives in Scotland and her house is not suitably arranged for her Mum to stay.
Youngest daughter lives in Blackpool and is an 'essential worker' and as such is forced to mix with others (social isolation not withstanding) and is therefore unable to adhere to 'quarantine' requirements.

999. Any neighbours to check on her until they arrive ?
Question Author
1. Visiting is not a realistic possibility.
Well it's their mum so they know best I suppose.
2. It took 7 and a half hours for the ambulance to arrive when she fell.
This is the converse side to the virus right now, no one will prioritise her care unless her family do it for her.

There was no love lost between me and my mother but I was there like a shot when the police turned up on my doorstep and told me she had no one else.... even though it was a 2 hour drive.
cross posted...

Age concern? Local authority care?
Her house is not suitably arranged? Ok...……. Other daughter is an essential worker and can't quarantine her mother. Looks like you will have to step in then doesn't it? as the DIL?
/4Eldest daughter lives in Scotland and her house is not suitably arranged for her Mum to stay//

Could she not stay with her mother?
Pay for a nurse to go and stay with the lady, and nurse her back to health.
Question Author
Whilst I am grateful that people are taking the time to answer the question, making suppositions and comparisons doesn't really answer the question.

I am relaying the answers to Mrs JtH who will speak to her sister later this afternoon and use the responses we receive here as a guide of how best to proceed.

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