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miss | 20:48 Mon 09th May 2005 | Body & Soul
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me and bf have both have our own places but stop at each others almost everynight and weve been together bout 5 years with 1 year gap. he announced the other night he wanted time on his own because he didnt think we had things in common and he doesnt know what he wants. so weve had a weekend apart with no contact and its carrying on this week as a "break" but he hasnt text me or anything and i feel so on my own and bored!!! im desperate to text him to see what hes up 2 !! what can i do to stop myself worrying?
  
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This is a toughy Miss, do you know what would suddenly cause this change in feeling towards your relationship, would you agree that you need time apart? Sometimes you can't begin to understand what are going through people's heads but if he has said that he wants some time apart it might be worth making yourself a bit unavailable for the rest of the week. I know how hard it can be you just want to reach for the phone and call but try and do little things to make the time go by like inviting some friends round for a girly night? you'll often find that if you do what they (and give them space) that's not what they actually want and your boyfriend will probably be calling you before you know it.

Do you do things seperately i.e. does he have nights with his mates etc?

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we often go out together, with friends and on girlie and lads only nights.. he says i dont directly stop him doing what he wants but sometimes he said it feels like im making him feel guilty! Its definately out of character for him, but maybe we were just taking each other for granted too much and he had to try something. Its so easy to slip into the having tea, watching tv, maybe him going out maybe me going out, bedtime and time for work again! I feel like i havent been given a chance to prove we are ok, its been straight into the break, but as its what he wants and im keen to make this work i'm happy for this. but im just finding it really hard, i went out all weekend with friends but its got to tonight and im really bored and feel lost!

Uh! I know how this feels miss and its not great i know, but like Rach said i would advise on keeping yourself busy so you dont dwell on it but try your hardest to leave it to him to contact you, don't give in girl you can do it! He will soon come running and they just need that time ti try and understand what exactly they do want, when this happened to me afterwards he said every time he went out all he thought of what it wuld be like if i was their, he wont not be able to think about it just like you wont but its best to try and get on. It's horrid i know and i really feel for you men are bu*gers cant live with cant live without em eh!

miss - do you think he is staying at home worrying about you?  I don't think so!

Get out there with your girly mates and have fun. Go clubbing or do things you used to do before you met him.

There will be times when you cry and miss him, but keep yourself so busy with friends and family that you have less time to mope.

If he is the one, he will soon realise what he's lost and come back for you. If he doesn't come back soon then you are better off without him.

Hi miss

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back it will be yours forever.

 

Maybe true, maybe not, it is a very difficult situation to be in, my ex and i were together 4 years, and had a couple of weeks each year where we just needed to be away from each other.  He'd spend them enjoying himself and I'd spend them thoroughly miserable.

 

As the others have said - go out and enjoy yourself as much as possible. Do things you've never done before, go places you've never been.  Aside from anything else when he asks what you've been up to this week, you have something to say other than 'not much'.

 

If it's meant to be, he'll come back and if it's not then you have to lick your wounds and get on with your life.  I thought the world would end if my bf and I split up, and whilst it was very hard - the world didn't and i'm now much happier.

 

Good luck, i hope it works out for you xx

 

Just give him some space and time as he requested, prepare yourself for a break up though.  Try to keep your mind active as im sure he is trying to work out how to change his life and considering what will work out best for him, no bloke likes a bunny boiler not saying that you are but if u keep hounding him then thats what he will think.

to be honest. it doesn't look good. maybe time apart is a good idea. Were you 100% happy before? Maybe thins might be your chance to find someone who does make you 100% happy. If he's not worrying then you shouldn't be either! Go out, have fun, see friends. x

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