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percy1946

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percy1946

Apologies Baldric

Meant to be an answer to an earlier joke but I put it in the wrong box. Thanks for reading anyway....
09:17 Sat 20th Oct 2018
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percy1946

Hello, Hello, Hello !

What's a policeman look like ?
22:54 Fri 19th Oct 201813 answers, last by mallyh 17:27 Sat 20th Oct 2018
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percy1946

Loros 'countries Of The World' Quiz

I'm struggling with the last three answers to 1 - Sounds like you're lifting equipment [7] 2 - Could get permanently lost in this shape [7,8] 3 - Sounds like a cheerful vehicle [7] All the answers...
20:54 Wed 29th Nov 20173 answers, last by douglas9401 21:07 Wed 29th Nov 2017
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percy1946

Irish Air Disaster

Irelands' worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that...
08:35 Sat 06th May 201712 answers, last by ummmm 09:29 Sat 06th May 2017
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percy1946

An Eskimo Story

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft. It sank, proving without doubt that you can't have your kayak and heat it !!!
18:26 Thu 04th May 20171 answer, last by marval 18:28 Thu 04th May 2017
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percy1946

Lunchtime Funny

I had a ploughmans' lunch the other day - he wasn't well pleased !!!
18:48 Wed 03rd May 20174 answers, last by zebo 08:07 Thu 04th May 2017
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percy1946

Door To Door Collections

We keep getting callers at our house collecting for various organisations. Why only last week the local old folks home came so we gave them Grandma and Grandad. Yesterday a couple asked if we could...
09:09 Tue 02nd May 20173 answers, last by percy1946 22:23 Tue 02nd May 2017
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percy1946

My Family

Apparently one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or Dad, my older brother Colin, or my younger brother...
09:01 Tue 02nd May 20175 answers, last by Flonska 18:03 Fri 05th May 2017
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percy1946

Blue Peter

I well remember watching Blue Peter and asking Mum when would the Fairy Liquid bottle be empty. She answered "You're eighteen now, go out and get a job " !!!...
13:43 Tue 25th Apr 2017
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percy1946

Can You Match This?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to light a bonfire !!!
21:00 Fri 21st Apr 2017
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percy1946

Gardening Advice

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. !!!
23:20 Thu 20th Apr 20171 answer, last by zebo 13:51 Fri 21st Apr 2017
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percy1946

Milking It ?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say " I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out !!!...
09:57 Thu 20th Apr 20175 answers, last by Jackdaw33 16:27 Thu 20th Apr 2017
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percy1946

Eggs For Breakfast ?

Who was the first person to say " See that chicken? I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its' butt !!!...
09:55 Thu 20th Apr 20175 answers, last by Jackdaw33 16:39 Thu 20th Apr 2017
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percy1946

Good Friday #3

My wife reckons it's Good Friday but I reckon it's good any day of the week !!!
13:45 Fri 14th Apr 20172 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:32 Fri 14th Apr 2017
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percy1946

Pregnant Or Not ?

A woman entered the chemists' shop and asked 'Do you have pregnancy tests?' The chemist said 'Yes, dear, would you like one?' She replied ' Dunno really, Are the questions difficult?'
18:21 Mon 10th Apr 20171 answer, last by Togo 18:25 Mon 10th Apr 2017
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percy1946

Sexual Statistics !!!

A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies " This is a very interesting...
01:01 Thu 23rd Mar 20172 answers, last by Arksided 12:12 Thu 23rd Mar 2017
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percy1946

We''ll Meet Again

In the war when it was nigh on impossible to get meat at the butchers our fishermen were asked to catch whales for us to eat, so when you took your ration book to the butchers a sign on his window...
23:51 Mon 20th Mar 20176 answers, last by melv16 19:24 Tue 21st Mar 2017
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percy1946

Brian Clough

This is reputedly a true story rather than a joke but I find it funny, so I hope you do too. Brain Clough would spend so much time in the bathroom every morning his wife would bang the door and shout...
10:27 Sat 11th Mar 20177 answers, last by bhg481 18:46 Sat 11th Mar 2017
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percy1946

Stolen Scrabble Game

My scrabble set was stolen recently. When I informed the police they said they would send someone to look for DNA. I said that's all very well but what about the other letters ???
23:02 Fri 24th Feb 20171 answer, last by marval 23:09 Fri 24th Feb 2017
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percy1946

Is There A Mouse In The House ?

A little boy asked his mother if they had mice in their house. No son, replied his mother, why do you ask? Well I woke up in the night and heard Dad say "quick, catch it in your nightie. !!!...
00:36 Thu 23rd Feb 2017

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